A CAT, A ' MATER, AND SOME DUCKETTES

No news on the CT Scan will hear something some time next week.. SO lets talk about something wonderful.. yes ladies and gentlemen.... I am a proud new parent... I will be posting pictures this evening when I get home and can take pictures... hmm I guess I have your curiousity up a bit... wellll.. here is the scoop... I am the proud new momma of a ' MATER.. that's southernspeak for a TOE MAY TOE or tomato... yes.. my little plants have sprouted.. last nite I saw my first grape 'mater...it a little green bigger than a pea size thing.. and oh so cute.. I just hope my doggies don't snatch it. both the grape and the cherry tomato plants are sprouting flowers left and right and pretty soon they will be full of wonderful little 'maters.. I am so excited.. I have not done this in years... I also have some BEAUTIFUL BASIL growing too.. used some last nite for my Italian salad.. it was sooooooooooooooooooo good. Well I will do another post either tonite or tomorrow with pictures of baby 'Mater One... Ohhh and when I left my subdivision today.. I saw a momma duckie with some brand new baby duckettes.. they were so cute.. all yellow and fluffy and cute.. I hope they all will survive..
Wish me well
Wish them well
Wish you well too
Until next time...

HAPPY THURSDAY

I am glad the weekend is almost here.. not that I wish my life away or anything.. but man.. I am tired.. the pain is wearing.. Hopefully after tomorrow's CT scan we will have an idea whats going on in my head.. I think its some type of sinus issue.. and hopfully nothing major... please.. nothing major...
Weight wise all is good.. food is good.. exercise sucks.. Hey I will get there.. I know what to do.. and yes it is just about doing it..

I also started another blog.. yeah thats crazy I know.. but check it out..http://blogs.weightwatchen.com/honib1
. I found this group that is for bloggers who are losing weight and I decided to join that too.. hey .. we can always use extra support .. at least thats what I think.. here is the link to it.. so u can puruse the site and my blog I will probably double post from time to time.. just to save time LOL...
OHHH yes... thanks to those of you who told me the name of those panties I appreciate it very much...

Be well
Wish me well
Wish you well too
Until next time... ( probably tomorrow after the CT scan)

STRANGE QUESTION...and HEAD UPDATE

Open to everyone one that reads me.. lets see how do I ask this..???? what are those panties called that are comfortable but help you look smooth and come down a little over your thighs.. like bike shorts.. there is a name for them.. they have been on Oprah.. (not interviewed or anything ..lol I just remember hearing someone say something about them on Oprah) there are several brands and I was thinking they would be good under my wedding dress.. or a regular dress should I ever be motivated to wear a dress. I am more of pants girl.. always have been. I dont like teetering on high heels. Anyhow.. if anyone has a link or knows what I am talking about please please let me know... its not a panty girdle but something sort of like that only not as restricting.. and suppose to be comfortable..
okay enough questioning .. thanks!! oh and I saw the doc they put me on a pill that acts like a narcotic but is not... (who knew?? ) not sure if i am gonna go to the local drug pusher ( Walgreens) ( no offense meant to any pharmacists my niece will be one soon so I call her my little drug pusher...) and get the prescription .. not sure... I also have to cut down on my advil.. I was taking them 4 ever 4 hours.. not a good idea.. I can have 4 3 times a day.. and I have to take priolosec with them now... so I wont get any more acid reflux... and I am waiting to get precertified from BCBS to get a CT SCAN of my head.. The doc wants to see whats going on with all this pain.. and as of right now the pain is climbing back up.. I have a deep burning feeling in the right side of my head and mouth.. yucky feeling... the pain comes in waves of sharp jabs and consistant visits...Sometimes I close my eyes and I just ride the pain for a little bit... other times I just feel sorry for myself lol.. oh well.. seriously.. I am a bit concerned that my doc wants me to have CT but hopefully I can get some good answers.. wish me luck.
Final question... If I was going to die.. would BCBS make me get precertified to do that... ??? just a thought..
Wish me well
Wish you well too

FOR NOW

HMM I have been perusing a lot of blogs lately... and I ran across a couple blogs that had a UTUBE video on them. This video was of a woman talking about being FAT.. and though she makes a wonderful statement to accept yourself and live in the moment.. I still say that those of us out there who want to make certain changes have to plan for the future... Living in the now is great.. and that is how we should all live life.. but planning for our future.. healthier, stronger, and better.. well at least to me that is very important.. why not strive for me instead of saying.. just I am okay how I am.. I also thought about another post that I read .. about a woman amazed that she was able to cross her legs.. she knew her thinner friends would have no appreciation for that.. yet to her it was amazing.. I can so relate.. when you suddenly do something that either you have never been able to do or that it has been a long time since you could do that ... and everyone else around you who is thinner just takes those movements for granted.. well.. when you FINALLY do that simple thing it is amazing.. it is a sign that says you are either almost there or you have arrived.. that is the coolest.. and I have great appreciation for that feeling.. I am looking forward to that feeling myself.
Still battling the tooth pain.. called my internist today for both Steve and myself.. he is still sick.. and the oral surgeon said to call my internist should I still have pain .. he thinks I have an underlying infection.. EXCUSE ME!!!!??? what??? you mean I had a tooth pulled.. with out knowing if I Had another type of infection that may have been causing the excrutating pain in my jaw and tooth in the first place????? WHAT .. I just do not understand.. is it up to me... to know if I have a secondary infection and get that checked is is SOME Doctor ie the endodontist I saw last monday.. or the oral surgeon suppose to reccomend I go see the internist before I have the DAMN TOOTH PULLED>. GEEZZZZ... this just gets worse each day.. hopefully my corner will turn soon... SOOOOOOOOOO .. For Now I am leaving you with a list.. I like lists.. I have seen them on Many blogs.. and I am introducing my
FOR NOW LIST

FOR NOW:

I WILL BE PROUD OF MY ACCOMPLISMENTS THUS FAR

I WILL CONTINUE KEEPING MY FOOD LOGS ON CALORIE-COUNT.COM AND I WILL WORK TOWARDS MY GOAL OF EXERCISING

I WILL FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN MY FACE AND WHY I AM STILL IN SUCH PAIN

I WILL NOT THREATEN EVERY OBJECT, PERSON OR PLANT OR ANIMAL WHEN I SNEEZE BECAUSE THE PAIN FEELS LIKE MY JAW IS GOING TO BLOW OUT OF MY MOUTH

I WILL BELIEVE THAT I CAN REMAIN IN CONTROL OF MY FOOD INTAKE EVEN THOUGH EVERY THING ELSE SEEMS OUT OF CONTROL

I WILL CONTINUE TO BANISH THE WORD DIET OUT OF MY LIFE

I WILL HAVE FAITH THAT TIME WILL HELP ME FEEL BETTER

I WILL CONTINUE TO GET SMARTER AS I GET OLDER

I WILL MAKE WHATEVER CHANGES NECESSARY TO BE HEALTHY

I WILL CONTINUE TO BELIEVE IN EACH OF YOU AS YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO A HEALTHIER YOU

WISH ME WELL
WISH YOU WELL TOO
-

ANOTHER POUND DOWN.. hmmm SO DOES THAT MEAN A TOOTH WEIGHS A POUND???

CURRENT WEIGHT: 195
STARTING WEIGHT: 211.5
GOAL WEIGHT: 132
FEELING: GROOVY YET AGAIN

AHH so here I am at 16.5 pounds gone since January 22,2007 ... I still feel pretty good about that.. I guess I am kinda like the turtle.. SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE... In reality we all know it is not about the race.. Just about getting healthy and hopefully living longer...
Am still in tooth hell.. or lack of tooth hell.. Tooth as we know is gone but pain is hanging on.. Saw the surgeon again today .. He said there was nothing he could do about the stitch because they disolve and I should just swish with salt water 7 times a day .. and brush normally and it should come out in couple days.. F ME!!! why would I put a tooth brush of all the crazy ideas back there yet... PAIN REMEMBER I am still in PAIN.. geez.. and I felt like such a goober after waiting nearly an hour to see the doc.. only to be told everything is healing great.. and there is nothing he can do for the pinching.. as far as the pain goes he wants me to give it a few more days and if I am hurting still I need to see my internist to see if I have a sinus infection or a nurological problems.. I.E. nerve issues in my FACE.. GEEEEEEEEEZEEEEEZZ~~~ so hopefully that damn stitch will fall out and hopefully the pain will lighten up.. and hopefully I will suddenly win a billion dollars.. Yeah righto...
Wish me well
Wish you well too
Until next time...

ASK ME ABOUT PROSTATE CANCER

Yes I am momentarily alive.. boyyyy when it rains it poors in my life.. Steve has been sick since last nite... I tend to get a little scared when he gets sick.. even if its just a chest cold.. I often wonder what if it is cancer?? to most of you that may sound absurd.. but Steve is a prostate cancer survivor.. and yes every check up is great.. and he has been cancer free since 2002. It just was such a traumatic time... 6 months prior to his diagnosis my father was killed in an accident, then on his 50th birthday he was told he had prostate cancer.. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? over the phone no less by an oncologist who we have never seen or heard from since. His doctor ( my doctor) sent him to a wonderful urologist who took great care of him. This doctor also took care of my dad too when he had prostate cancer.. yeah.. my dad had it in the mid 90s only they could not do the surgery on him. He had radiation treatment.. so I guess in some morbid way that is why I came to terms quicker with how he died.. You see.. prior to the accident.. his PSA ( BLOOD TEST FOR PROSTATE Prostate specific antigen) was climbing back up.. his numbers were getting high.. and since he had had radiation treatment.. well.. there would have been not much they could have done for him..Prostate cancer is a horrible cancer .. and it is the number 1 killer cancer in men. so FORGIVE my little flash here.. if your husband or boyfriend is over 50.. make him get his PSA test.. annually unless otherwise needed.. if there is a history of prostate problems in his family and he is under 50 he needs to be checked too.. Yes I know more about a man's prostate than i know about my own ovaries... lol... seriously.. it is a scary disease take care of those you love by having them get checked... anyhow.. as I was saying earlier.. I get scared... logically there is no reason to get scared .. but in my heart there is always that little whisper .. what if it is cancer coming back in another form.. >>> I try to NOT listen and just treat whatever ails him.. He has a bit of a fever.. and a infection ... coughing really bad.. however he might also have a secondary infection..... one of the side effects of prostate cancer surgery can be a little disease known as epididimitis.. it is a BAD infection for men... it is the inflamation of the little tube that carries the fluid for sperm... and this inflammation IS HORRIBLE for men. Steve got that after his surgery and deals with the pain from time to time.. IT is CHRONIC it never goes away .. but can be TREATED... he had corrective surgery for that however it only has as success rate of about 50 percent or so.. but for the most part.. He is usually in Tip Top shape.. and never has issues... and he is NEVER sick.. so when he gets sick.. its a big deal in our house... Not to mention I am still dealing with the tooth from hell.. IT MAY BE GONE but it sure lingers on.. the stitching area is a bitch... one of the wires keeps poking me in the cheek.. and I am keeping gauze in my mouth to try and seperate my cheek from the stitch wire.. UGHHHH this is going on until Wed.. when I get the stitches out.. UGHHH.. oh well. I am trying to be a trooper about it... wish me luck...
Well all and all things are okay here.. I hope we have a good nite .. it was rough here last nite between me not feeling well and him not feeling well..
Hopefully we are both on our way to a quick recovery..
though I am insisting he see the doctor tomorrow..
Wish me well
Wish you well too..
Tomorrow is weigh day.. so I will post stats then..

DING DONG THE TOOTH IS DEAD

Ding Dong the Tooth is dead (which old tooth) the BIG BAD TOOTH.. DING DONG the wicked tooth is dead.. I had pulled and now its gone.. Still have some pain but thats okay.. Ding Dong the wicked tooth is GONE>.
YAY... still have some residule pain from it being pulled and me being stitched up... but I should be okay.. this pain is nothing like what I was having so its more tolerable and treatable with Advil.. so thats good.
Hope everyone has a good weekend..
Lord knows I am gonna try..
Wish me well.
Wish you well too!!!

BYE BYE PAIN.. HELLO SMILE

WELL.. had a little unexpected toe surgery yesterday.. bad ingrown nail.. yech .. lets dont talk about it... Tomorrow the tooth comes out.. and finally I will be free of that pain.. BOY do I sympathize with anyone that has had a toothache now... On the good front.. I am healthy.. and all is well.. IT has been fairly quiet in my world which is good.. I have been perusing wedding dresses online and have found a few styles I like... but I want to give myself another 15 pounds before I try them on again. The first go round went well. but fact is ... I won't be wearing that size by the time of the wedding so I want to keep it all as realistic as possible as far as fitting a dress goes.

Have a great rest of the week.. if I am up to it tomorrow after the tooth extraction I will post again.. ... I look forward to feeling better.. instead of all this pain.. Pain can be very dibilitating.. if you let it.

Wish me well
Wish you well too
Until next time..

I WASN'T GONNA DO IT..

BUT HERE IT COMES...WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! OKAY I am glad that is over with.. my mouth continues its saga.... Saw Dr. Endodontist today... he unpacked the tooth.. explored a bit.. said there was nothing more he could do.. he did not see any cracks but notices some irritation around the gum line now... he thinks the root might be cracked or the tooth might have a small fracture in it causing this pain.. whoop dee doo.. all i know is that the right side of my mouth feels like an elephant is standing on my eyeball.. I got a shot in the jaw, a shot in the gum and a shot in the roof of my mouth to the side by the tooth.. OUCHHHHHHHHHH.. I also saw the oral surgeon today... So the game plan stands at.. should the tooth not be improved in 3 weeks.. or if it gets worse in the next 3 weeks.. I am to call the oral surgeon .. and he is going to extract the tooth.. NO MORE PAIN.. my dilemma is this.. should the tooth quiet down and I get a crown on it.. there is a large chance that said tooth will crack.. and have to be removed regardless.. the surgeon feels that if the tooth does not heal with in 3 weeks then chances are it will never heal right.. and since it is a back tooth chances are I can get by with no appliance replacement like a bridge or something... I just am tired of the pain especially when I have my motorcycle helmet on and my cheek is up against the tooth.. YIKES does that hurt...
I tried a frozen entree by Michael Angelo ( I THINK THATS THE NAME) it was a eggplant roll up thing.. 180 for 2 of them.. my only compliant was that it was a bit high in sodium... otherwise it was wonderful.. I will probably keep it as something to do from time to time and keep it for the winter menu as well.. Yes .. that was a recent decision of mine to start eating seasonally..The heavier foods.. in winter.. and more lighter fair in spring and summer.. Switch too more cereal in the A.M. and less oatmeal.. cooler foods in the warmer weather.. hot foods in cooler or rainy weather.. seems like it will increase the variety of foods out there to try.. HEALTHIER FOODS.. We have also decided to eat more locally.. For example when we see a fruit stand or veggie stand.. stopping checking out what they have and if it looks good buying it.. not only do we help out this guy in a truck .. but we help ourselves by eating locally grown veggies that are probably fresher.. we picked up some gorgeous redskin potatos yesterday at the Mountain Top Flea Market in Attalla Alabama I also almost got a new puppy... she was a white border collie with a brown mask and blue eyes.. I would have called her BANDIT.. he was so cute.. oh well. Steve and I Think we are going to wait until after our wedding for another new addition.. but I sure wish I would have had my camera with me to take her picture.. she was such a cutie.. a snuggley kisser too... (sigh) oh well...
That about wraps it up.. gonna go take some ibus now... and hit the shower..
Wish me well..
Wish you well too

ROCK ON HONI

I DID IT>> YAY ME!!!! 15.5 pounds... slowly but surely I am getting there...
Start : January 22, 2007 211.5 pounds
Today: March 19, 2007 196 pounds
Total : 15.5 pounds
Feeling: GROOVY

Wish me well
Wish you well too

CONFESSION

Yes.. I am going to make a deep dark confession... you see it started... well.. uhmm I am not sure when it started.. but .. over time it slowly crept up on me... Nothing will else can compare.. believe me.. I tried them all... ... but like some hypnotic magician.. this ... fizzy lifting drink.. has carefully insinuated itself in my life as a permanent fixture... Over Sonic crushed ice, in the bottle or in the can... I prefer the bottle.. but I take the can when the bottle is not around... When I sip this concoction all is right with the world... so tonite I am sharing my addiction with you.... please... I know .. it is pathetic.. but I just am not happy unless I get my daily fix of......
I feel much better now that I have shared this with you... So whats your.. sinless addiction....

Wish me well
wish you well too......

CHILD AT LARGE

The weather outside may be frightful however all is well inside though so that is what is important... IT is a yuckified day here in good old Alabama... rain rain rain..followed by more rain and cold weather..
I have had a good eating week so far... but a lousy exercise week.. I have been increasing activity though.. it is just I have not been to the pool like I should be doing.. I know I know.. I know... no excuses.. just DO IT!!!.
I guess folks are getting ready for Spring break coming up Next week... anyone have any out of town plans.. I am going to be working... so no vacation for me ... We are planning a pretty rockin' bike trip to Colorado some time early summer I think... So I really need to keep on getting in better shape so I can cope with any heat that comes my way... I am not a summer person at all... I don't like to be hot.. I think it is because most of the time I am hot not by choice... ( NOTHING LIKE THOSE LITTLE FLASHY THINGS) ... I prefer being cool... I can always warm up.. it is staying cool that has always been the issue for me.. especially after reaching 35... The hot flashes have tamed down a good bit... Now at 44 I only get them from time to time.. but they are whoopers.
I have been reading a lot about childhood obesity and thinking to myself... who is at the root of this issue .. is it the child that has learned to SUPERSIZE everything..??? or is that about a parent who just is so overwhelmed with things or perhaps too lazy even to provide healthier alternatives...Are we simply just a country that is clueless when it comes to portion control..???. I wonder what it is about... In theory if a someone has a regular size or small burger with out all the extras or SUPERSIZES... from a fast food joint and even a small fry and small drink.. doing this here and there.. once and a while.. that's not a bad thing.. but theory... has turned into daily... and convienience.. I sat in my car the other day at Sonic.. waiting to order my 2 bags of ice.. ( I LOVE SONIC ICE) and I watched as car load after car load pulled in and ordered well.. .use your imagination... These people were average size .. with mostly average size kids... I did not think much about that until I read the article... A lot of schools are removing vending machines filled with junk food.. I guess those things will help... but I also know that in our wonderful country ... with all of our technological advances we have helped create this by giving our kids computers... video games .. and items that call for a more seditary lifestyle.. So I wonder is it really the food that is creating this. ? should a parent be blamed??/ where does it start...???.... Granted in my day we really did not have a SUPERSIZED WORLD... everything was small , medium or large... then came Extra Large ...and in my world.. no one ever got a extra large......We also played outside a lot more too..Choices were more limited 3 channels on the TV to choose from as well... and board games to play... Outside was my favorite place... Catching lightening bugs... running around until it was dark out..Choices were smaller...Now..in this SUPERSIZE ME WORLD.. who watches out for the kids... ??? MOM .. DAD.. or the CHILD AT LARGE....
Wish me well
Wish you well too..

REALIZING IT

Anne Frank:
Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong.

I do realize that the hard work I am putting into adopting life changes is working.. yet at the same time.. each step I take is becoming a habit. Each time I repeat each action it becomes a part of me.. silently... getting stronger each day..
Wish me well
Wish you well too

STATS

CURRENT: 197
GOAL : 132
TOTAL: 14.5
LIFE: PRICELESS

GOOD NEWS

Just wanted to share some things.. one funny thing and then some fun news... The other night we were at Whole Foods.. shopping.. and I picked something up and was reading the nutritional info... one of Steves favorite things to say is.. thats nothing but gratuitous calories... I looked at him with a straight face and said.. I keep you around and you are nothing but gratuitous calories too.. We both laughed.. now for the FUN/EXCITING NEWS..... On February 14th after seven wonderful years together ... Steve and I are officially engaged with a wedding coming up hopefully sometime in the fall. Wehave not set the big date yet. I am so excited... Steve and I have lived a lifetime in these past 7 years.. losing my dad, losing several loved ones.. battling his cancer.. traveling the country... finding goodness around us in simple things.. we have done a lot in 7 years and seen a lot in that time. He totally surprised me Valentines day. We had promised each other since I had been making all of these changes that we were not going out to dinner and not going to do anything major... I came home from work to be greeted by a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses with red tips... they were in a beautiful tourquoise tin container. I gave Steve a letter and a small tin of candy.. I was a little upset because the flowers were so pretty and all I had for him was a tin of candy... he kept asking me to look at the flowers carefully .. did I see something.. ?? much to my chagrin I did not... Finally with his hand over mine we pulled out a stem of babys breath and much to my amazement was a beautiful ring.. ( a past present future setting) .. I was shocked.. I had kinda given up on the idea of us going farther than we were.. though I still had hope.. It was wonderful.. everything that moment was the way it was suppose to be. Later that evening what sealed things for me... was when I was sitting on the sofa with Steve and suddenly over my right shoulder I felt a cool breeze.. it was really unusual.. then I smelled a cologne smell which turned into the sweetest smell I had ever known.. I asked Steve if he smelled that.. and he said no... but he looked at me.. and said.. thats Sid ( my dad) I know it is.. and I knew too... My dad was there... and it was such a good feeling.. even though it lasted less than 10 seconds.. it was so nice... He loved Steve.. they were good friends... So.. over the course of the life changes I am making I have this to look forward to .. A lifetime with the person I love. I am pretty lucky... Now.. I need advice.. because I am older.. and a first time bride.. I am tryng to have some of the bride fun but keep it realistic for a person my age... you know.. no fru fru.. but a little fru... I have tried on a couple dresses.. and should I opt for wedding dress... I know the style that will work for me.. I won't make that purchase until shortly before the wedding.. I figured on a guest list of just under 200 ( over half of that are folks that are related to me or him..) I have already designed our invitation... and I have a printer friend helping me with that. I know where the wedding will be and where the reception will be.. I just have to work on decorations.. (25 tables) , Steve is handling the cake.., so all in all We have things fairly figured out.. its just a matter of deciding on a date.. and putting it all together... I am concerned about the decorations for the tables.. and being cost effective yet pretty.. any ideas.. from you wonderfully creative folks would be much appreciated.. ... I am hoping to have off atleast another 30 pounds before the wedding.. I weigh tonite and I hope I have reached my 15 pound mark.. not sure though... the scale this morning read 194.2 last monday morning it read 196.8 and when weighed that evening I was 198.5 ... so I really am hoping I will have that 15 pound goal reached this week.. If I could have a total of 45 pounds off by the time of the wedding I would be pretty happy.. of course I would be really excited if I had more than that.. but I am trying to be realistic ..I am guessing the wedding would be late October... which is okay with me. I am not going to do anything fadish .. or crazy to lose weight faster.. just going to stay with what I am doing since it seems to be working so well.. besides if I hit the 15 pound mark tonite... that would be since jan 22.. and thats pretty good in my book... okay enough rambling... I will post tonite with stats..
Wish me well
Wish you well too

A GOAL BY ANY OTHER NAME

Here is my question for today... Why is the goal weight of 132 so important to me? I have not weighed that in about 15 years .. and even then I did not stay there for very long.. not even a year.. but for some reason.. that just seems good.. I have gotten as low as 127 in my adult life.. and that felt good.. but THAT did not last for long either.. but 132.. just seems to be a good number for me... by all the charts I should weigh between 99 and 119 lbs when I am through.. the last time I saw 114 I was 14 years old.. so it just does not seem realistic.. my doctor wants me under 140.. ANYthing under 140 and he would be happy... as of last Monday I was 198.5 ... So I am getting closer.. still a very long way to go .. but I am getting there.. I have short term goals too.. the next short term one is 189... by the end of my program I am should be around 188.. and then I keep going from there... I am hoping for that.. I am striving for that.. I am going in the right direction.. but 132.. rings in my head.. as the goal I am seeking.. What is about numbers... that we so need to be a certain weight.. not just what feels good to us.. ..I guess it really is a combination of numbers and how I physically feel as well... Only time will tell.
Wish me well
Wish you well too
Until Next time...

A CRANKY TOOTH AND ITCHY EYE

What a day... had to go back to the endodontist today... am on antibiotics.. if the pain does not go away in 2 weeks .. he goes back in the tooth.. if the tooth has a cracked root as he suspects... bye bye tooth.. its a back tooth.. so its not really that major.. but it is.. I have had that tooth well you know.. since I had teeth.. this thing is going to drag out for the next 4 weeks.. if the pain goes away .. then i can procede for the prep for the crown.. but now I am in tooth pergatory.. and to top that off my eye started itching again.. Good thing about working for an optometrist.. they can take care of that pretty swiftly.. I am back on eye drops.. and then she is sending me to another doctor to look at this little irritation under my eye lid.. she said he might remove it..WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! do what to my eye lid.. rather under my eyelid.. someone is going to remove something from the inside of my eyelid.. yikes.. I hope that does not come to pass.. when I use the eyedrops.. it stops itching.. which is good.. but I know my boss and she is not going to be satisfied with that.. she wants it to go away but .. well.. ewww.. okay I am putting it out of my head.. blech... I just watched OPRAH.. and now I am more depressed.. it was about women who have lost a great deal of weight via gastric by pass or other means.. most of these women lost their marriages.. had relationship issues.. all kinds of things.. geez.. I just want to lose my weight I dont want the world around me to change.. you know?? I want a smaller ass but not at the price of love. okay I am exagerating I know.. I called him up and said is " he just going to be regular to me.. you know.. proud.. happy that I have done this.. but well. I wanted to make sure he was not going to pull away.. I think he is more concerned that I will change... I won't .. not on the inside.. I just want to be more mobile able to do things with more ease.. I just want to feel better.. You know??? I have never thought weight loss is a cure all. Weight loss just makes your body better.. and your insides healthier .. thats all I want.. I want my world to be the same.. as I become better.. He said.. turn the TV off .. and dont watch that stuff.. I think he is right.. BYE BYE OPRAH.. those ladies are not me. I guess I am sensitive to people who are on the same journey as me..or who have been on the same journey...
Wish me well.
Wish you well too.

ONE FINAL WORD FOR THE NIGHT- FIND YOUR TRUTH

I am mildly irritated.. I absolutely dislike those studies for which diet works best... Now I am either going to find folks that agree with me .. or those that will think I am nuts... It took me 34 years to realize that a Diet is a Diet.. no matter what it claims it is.. There are no end all be alls etc... We all know the real truth.. ANYONE CAN LOSE WEIGHT BARING any medical condition that prevents them from doing so.! The fundemental key is what happens after the weight is off. Have you learned anything? Have you developed life changing habits? Do you understand that for the rest of your life you must adapt to your new way of eating until it becomes the normal , comfortable rest of our life feeling ? DO we.. Do you? Can we accept that this change .. is a forever change.. not just a temporary change... ? Are we .. strong enough to live a different way and not let Wendy's McDonalds.. KFC.. Hamburger Heaven or whatever fast food shakes your tree or whatever dingdong buddy bar.. chip etc.. seems to whisper our name...... Have we learned that these places .. these foods... are not the places where we will find substantial food for our bodies.. Think about it?? Each of us is working hard to obtain a goal.. are we ready for the responsibility that will come with obtaining this goal? Are our plans in place for lifelong lifestyle change.. thats what it is really about.. Sure you can deflate your tush by following Atkins, WW, the Zone.. whatever... Or you can do the simple thing and count calories.. intake vs output. I love what I am doing because it allows me the freedom to eat healthy.. and have fun.. and be creative... I like logging my food.. I like finding out what I have done during the day eating wise... I like knowing I am capable of change... SO when you read the garbage out there that this diet is better than that diet.. realize that there is no such thing as a diet.. that that is a fable... what matters is you.. and what you are willing to compromise for a healthier self.. for the rest of your life.. not five minutes.. when the powers that be .. decide that .. THAT DIET is better..and this DIET is worse this fable tells the biggest fib.. or that fable will tell you worse..... Find your truth.. make a commitment to yourself.. one step at a time until it becomes habit.. until it becomes a natural part of you ... no more tug of war.. 34 years of trying.. thats over.. in my 44th year I am ready for me.
Wish me well.. Wish you well too!!

PB2 AND YOU

JUST RECIEVED PART OF MY SECOND ORDER ON PB2 .. you guys this is wonderful stuff.
Where else can you get delicous either kinda chunky or creamy or however you want to mix it up PB... 2 Tablespoons.. 54 calories 2.8 grams of fat.. It is so simple.. scoop out your 2 TBS.. mix with some water or liquid of your choice.. mix to desired consistency and YUM YUM THERE IT IS>>> !!!!!!! COME ON .. JUMP ON THE WAGON YOU PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS YOU!!! .. its here for us... and it is a great alternative to any PB out there minus the extra Fat and oil.. and transfats.. and all the crap we do not need.... I know.. I have checked them all out... no heart burn city here thats for sure.. just a devine fresh test...
Check it out.. http://www.bellplantation.com/new/ go to products.. and there it is .. minimum order 4 jars.. split it with a friend.. or be like me and make your second order 8 jars.. 2 of those 8 a friend of mine is buying. the rest are for me.. and only me.. hahahahahah.. seriously I am going to spread the PB2 message.. you can have your Peanut Butter and eat it 2 .. lol... check it out!!!
WISH ME WELL WISH YOU WELL TOO!!!

YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWN

May I please Please PLEASE.. take a nap.. I am pooped... I have been up since around 2 a.m. with a toothache.. YEAH same tooth different day.. Hopefully this issue will clear up so I can have the coring done and then the crown.. OHHH BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. I was suppose to have the core put in tomorrow.. but.. last night I had to be a perfect polly and floss EXTRA GOOD.. and brush REALLLLLY GOOD.. and BOOOOOOOOM.. 1:30 am.. I was up with a monster toothache.. what in the hell did I do to myself????.. The dentist is sending me to the endodontist tomorrow to make sure the tooth is okay.. for some reason the area is VERY sensitive espeically to touch... and the tooth should be nerveless.. all the nerves are taken care of that were suppose to be root canaled.. yet apparently much to my chagrin we have a little band around the tooth.. one might call it saran wrap.. and that little band is MASSIVELY sensitive.. so .. if one brushes their teeth with too much intensity .. TOOTHACHE.. TRAUMA.. WHO KNEW!!!!... yes I am half delirious as I write this.. I just want my tooth finished so I can chew on that side... I feel lopsided .. not really.. Anyway.. all is good weight wise.. I am going to be doing Laundry most of the night so thats my activity.. I should go swim.. but I am not.. I will however do some walking tomorrow.. and will be doing a lot of that this weekend... I know I know.. I can not gripe about not losing weight faster if I dont get my ass in gear and exercise like a monkey... or a tiger.. who whatever or whoever exercises with glee... okay i am not complaining.. I just have not found the exercise zone.. half due to my own worry about injurying myself.. ( remember me.. 1 torn miniscus, 1 case of severe tendenitis right leg... 2 minor disk herniations and one sort of moderate one... and scar tissue issues from back surgery in 1996.. SOOO I am just a basket of physical road blocks..) HOWEVER I do know that there are things I can do .. that will not reinjure said injuries.. the other half is due to just finding what I know I will stick with long term.. I am finding I like a combo of walking, water aerobics and recumbent biking.. those seem to work well for me...I am cool with that.. Just got to act on it more.. All right.. enough ramblings...
Wish me well Wish you well too!!!!

SOME INSPIRATION

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt~

This is a powerful story which is adapted from a Cherokee legend titled "Two Wolves."

A Wise Woman was counseling a younger woman who was beginning a difficult journey.
“I see two wolves who will accompany you,” the Wise Woman said.
They will be fighting each other along the way to determine which one will guide you through the challenges of your journey.
One wolf is life-denying: its name is FEAR.
The other wolf is life-affirming: its name is HOPE.”
The younger woman thought about this and then asked, “But which wolf will win?”
The Wise Woman simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Let's feed our HOPE.. our HOPE for success
... not our FEAR of failure...

GET 'ER DONE

A half a pound... thats all I lost this week... A half a pound.. what is a half a pound.???.. hmm a half a pound is something when you add it to 12.5 pounds.. it makes the nice round number of 13 pounds lost since January 22 , 2007... and this is good.. It makes me reflect on my food log and see where I can tweak things... It makes me realize that yes I do indeed need to consume more liquids when I noticed today at work .. I only tinkled one time.. thats not good ... It makes me realize that a half a pound in the right direction.. is good. Tonite in class we discussed the pros vs the cons in losing weight... the cons were basically having to plan ahead, having to keep a food log.. etc... in my mind those are not real cons.. lets face it.. we gotta do those things in order to bring about change.. for with out change you just spin in the same circle.. the same circle of self doubt, eating wrong.. feeling bad.. etc.. its better to break that circle readjust it... create a healthy environment for yourself.. and create what you or I need to be successful... I am not going to do this again.. I simply can not.. this is show time.. My chance to star in my life... each of our chances to star in our own lives... we matter.. each of us.. but first we have to matter to ourselves by turning every perceived negative or real negative into some type of positive.. by redeveloping our thought processes until we GET IT RIGHT... and Get'er done as Larry the Cable guy would say...
Wish me well
Wish you well too
Current: 198.5
Goal : 132
Start: 211.5
Life : PRICELESS

THE INFAMOUS TALE OF COOKIE THE WONDER DOG AND IF IT IS ON THE EDGE OF THE COUNTER IT IS MINE!!!

AH Cookie the Wonder Dog.. you can see her picture if you scroll down and look to the right of the screen... she is something else.. Ever since she was a puppy she has believed that anything that falls to the floor or that is on the edge of the counter in the kitchen absolutely belongs to her.. This would include a bag of cinnamon and raisin bread that weighed as much as she did at the time.. it would also include a raw chicken wing that she gleefully paraded around the house with... and it would also include part of Steve's dinner from the other night... You see I made the unfortunent error of leaving his bowl of pasta at the edge of the kitchen counter and walking into the other room.. I walked back in the kitchen and a huge chunk of his dinner was missing.. I have no idea how she does it.. standing on her hind legs her head just reaches the counter.. so with out toppling the bowl to the floor I have no idea how she managed to do that.. she knew she was guility especially when she rounded the corner licking her chops and looking at me with her UH OH face. lol I could not punish her because I did not see her do it... It made me remember when she was just a puppy how she pulled a bag of Cinnamon bread that weighed about as much as she did at the time to the floor .. took it into the dining room.. and in the dark.. undid the package so that it rolled back and exposed the bread that this pup so gleefully indulged in.. She and our other Dog Baz ( he stayed with her for moral support) spent the night outside that nite... I was so scared the raisins were going to kill her... but alas.. she tossed her "cookies " the next day in the front yard and she was her usual self again... and the chicken wing fiasco was pretty funny too.. she was so proud of that chicken wing she tossed it up in the air and ran around with it like it was a huge reward.. we eventually obtained said raw chicken wing ... I think she is a bit of a compulsive eater and an amazingly neat eater as well.. she always makes me smile..... when I found that wrapping rolled back from that cinnamon bread on the floor that evening I thought it was the newspaper plastic and was shocked when I realized what that little missy had done... We know better than to let things rest on the end of the counter.. Last week Cookie reminded me .. always to push the food back.. lest I want to give her a treat...lol...
As for me... I weigh tonite and will post that a little later..
Hope all is well in your world..
Wish me well
Wish you well too
Until next time ....

BYE BYE TORNADOS , HELLO SUNSHINE

WOW!!! we had a bit of cloud rotation right up the street from our house... IT was really weird outside.. kind of a yellow, green brown color.. it was already fairly dark out since it was after 6 pm.. We had the tv on and put the weather on and found out that this rotation which can be a predicesor to a tornado..No Tornado thank heavens... but I tell you it was strange looking outside for a while... Right now its lovely out though.. a little chilly but reallly pretty. Got to work this morning and found my new glasses in the package bin... am pretty happy with them...
Food wise yesterday was a really low cal day .. we closed the office early because of the weather.. so by the time I ate it was around 3 when I got home.. You know it is interesting... I have really eaten healthy for over a month now... Last night we had some pre cooked hamburgers that came out of one of Steve's lines. It was pretty good.. around 252 calories... I had it on light white wheat bread with a little ketchup... It tasted pretty good... until about 20 minutes later when I realized it just was not for me.. I got a little queasy from it. I think that is because we , especially me has eaten nothing but very very lean beef or steak when I eat red meat.... and this hamburger... though it was supposedly lean, it was not what I have been used to eating... So I think I won't be indulging in those for a long time... I prefer the homemade variety. For Dinner I had some VIVE cereal.. that stuff is SOOOOOOO GOOD... I really enjoy a lot of the Kashi products... I used some Organic Fat free milk and I have to say this Organic Fat free milk is Delicious.. I could not believe how good it was.
Today I did the low sugar oatmeal thing with fresh blueberries.. and have a good lunch planned...Planning on getting some walking or swimming in this weekend too... ITs slow .. the exercise stuff but I am getting there.. so thats good. Just taking it all one day at time.
Wish me well
Wish you well too...
Until Next time..

THINGS NOT TO DO WHILE DRIVING

See.. I was driving.. and I noticed that my glasses were smudged.. The traffic was a bit heavy and it was moving slow.. so I thought to myself.. hmm I will just take them off and clean them off so I can see better.. here is what I learned.. that when I take my glasses off .. especially in a moving vehicle that I am driving... I get REALLLLLLLLLY bad motion sickness because.. SUPRISEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I can not see with out either my contacts or glasses on... I could only make out the back lights of the car in front of me.. and the head lights of the cars coming towards me... ( SO THERE IS A REASON WHY ON MY DRIVER'S LICENSE IT SAYS .. MUST WEAR CORRECTIVE LENSES ) ... hmmm

IT is going to be a stormy day here today.. So I am keeping an eye on the weather.. they have started closing schools early today... Apparently we are in line for some WHOPING STORMS. .. just heard the sirens for a tornado watch go off...... I hate that stuff... so to be safe I am going to cancel an afternoon appointment so I can go straight home after work... The sky is really strange looking too Grey and heavy I noticed earlier it looked like the sun was trying to make an appearance which supposedly is not a good thing when storms are predicted...

Food wise I am in great shape... and DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!! I started exercising this week.. NO BIG THING.. I walked Monday night and I got in the pool for 30 minutes last night and did water jogging and water exercises. IT FELT GOOOD>. This morning I pulled the garbage bins to the bottom of the hill.. Normally he does that... but I did it today and it was so MUCH EASIER.. that I remember it.. which must mean .. I am getting healthier.. and better.. Lord knows I feel better.. HMM with just 12.5 pounds off.. I wonder what another 12.5 pounds will feel like...
Wish me well.
Wish you well too
Until Next time.