Friday, February 29, 2008


Sometimes you simply must be thankful...I had a bad day at work yesterday what made it even worse is it was fixed by a simple solution that I did not have the forsight to recognize.. I know how to do my work on my server at the office.. we use the server as the pc.. but the technical stuff I am clueless on.. when I attempted to print something thats when the battery back up alarm went off.. I researched on the internet until I found the company who makes this batter back up surge protector... I called for help.. they told me what to do and I did it.. I was also told we needed a new battery in it.. then I was told we needed a new unit itself.. my bosses husband comes in and finds that the box is attatched to a extension cord behind the pc.. I did not know that.. so he unplugs it from there.. then he plugs it all back in. resetting everything.. no one told me to unplug it from the wall.. any how for the whole day that damn thing had that high pitched continious beep going off.. it was terrible.. Then I had major insurance issues to deal with for a patient.. the insurance Medicare and BCBS said the patient needs to handle it.. so I turned it back to the patient.. and I think she is mad at me.. FOLKS YA GOTTA DEAL WITH YOUR OWN INSURANCE.. that I did not fix it for her.. been working on this since december.. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH of my time... On my way home last night I am chatting on my cellphone with a good friend talking about my day she is in the medical profession too so she understood how I felt.. the road I go home on is a two lane road.. its a busy road too.. I am driving along at the speed limit 50 miles an hour.. I see traffic approaching me.. there is a truck in my lane so much so in my lane that I am having to go off the road has he approaches.. I lost it .. I started crying to my friend.. and saying someone has it in for me today.. I thought I was having a heart attack too.. my chest hurt so bad from the sheer fear.. when I told Steve how I reacted.. slowing down.. moving over a little at time.. but I did swerve back to get back on the road fully.... he said I handled it well.. I must have .. I am not dead.. I said to my friend on the phone she almost heard me in a head on collision.. she knew .. or at best I would have gone off road into some trees.. I said to her you almost heard me die.. or crash.. thank god it was over.. fast.. but it is lingering in my mind.. .. stayed on the phone with my friend until I was safe at home.. ..
So today is another day... I have decided to do my links on recipes... Enjoy!!

Thursday, February 28, 2008


ARRRRRGH.. do you here that dreaded noise.. seems one of the back up batteries in the office that is part of the surge protector that houses our hookups for the internet and network etc.. has been screeching that high pitched beep since early this morning.. its been a zoo here.. and I have not had anytime to do anything but work.. so I just wanted to check in and say a quick hi.. will have our linky friday post tomorrow..
Wish me well
Wish you well too..

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I lead a pretty regular life.. most folks at my age have a family with kids at various ages.. I missed out on a lot of that.. Having gotten married at 45 and also not being able to have our children, we decided against at our ages having children. He has 3 adult children so the only one that missed out on being a parent was me. When I was younger I had it planned that if I would get marred I would certainly have a family .. I have always loved kids.. and I taught and took care of kids ranging in ages of newborn up to 18 years old. I taught preschool.. and ran youth programs for many years.. (Kids would say to me.. Miss Honi you must have eyes in back of your head because you always know who I am before I am in front of you ..or you always know what I am doing just as I am about to do something wrong with out even looking at me...). but fate steered me up a different avenue.. which is fine.. I really have no regrets. We have a wonderful life as is.. with 2 wonderful 4 leggers.. who are the kids in our house.. Lest the human variety with 2 legs comes by. Steve has a wonderful little grandson too.. he is a cutie.. So thats all good.. its a good life.. one I am grateful for..
I work 40 hours a week.. and my husband is in the food business.. last night before I was leaving work.. Steve thought to warn me that when I got home and opened the garage/ basement / office etc... that he had been inundated with samples.. So I pull into the garage last night.. and lo and behold.. I am greeted by Cinnamon twists, Mint cakes, Chocolate Cakes, white cakes, Red Velvet Cakes, Lemon Cakes, Coconut Cakes.. Danishs and an assortment of other goodies including beautifully made loaf breads.. I go past the motorcycle and stop at the long table with all the cakes on it.. I look at that inventory.. and just shake my head.. I think of the Rib sandwich, Hamburger sandwich, Cheeseburger sandwich and the biscuit sandwiches in one of the freezers.. So coming off a very stressful day .. coming off work LATE after 7 pm my day started at 3 am .. ( remember the tornado ) the room went into a spin for a second.. then I laughed.. or rather grunted.. and walked upstairs.. to the waiting arms of my sweet husband.. we ran some errands.. we picked up a frozen pizza and layered some mushrooms on it ( it was a cheese pizza 330 calories form 1/16th of it.. I have no idea what that is.. I had my customery 2 pieces and screw the rest.. that was dinner last night and lunch today.. I had my oatmeal this morning.. my pizza for lunch .. it has been hectic as hell here... not sure what dinner will bring.. and I know self.. I know that I need to exercise.. I know what I need to do I can hear your subtle reminders .. trust me on that.. right now I need .. I need a Hug and a nap .. but it looks like I am just going to have to have a carrot for now...
Wish me well
Wish you well too..

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


Which I suppose is better than being pissed on.. ehem.. excuse me while I step on my soapbox and rage at the world !!! A dear friend of mine has a fabulous blog with wonderful inspiration. recently another blogger decided it was her place to cast judgment on the first bloggers post. It really made me angry to read that.. and to read that woman's comment.. I think what annoyed me so much is that she actually thinks she is right.. when she is pathetically mistaken. because of blogger friends post.. it inspired me to do something similiar.. and aftewards I felt so much better.. I hope that other person never visits my blog.. for if she does and casts her judgement on me.. well.. lets just say .. I don't play nice all the time! .. Anyone can read me .. but keep unconstructive comments to yourself. Your Negative thoughts are not welcomed here .. or anywhere else for that matter.. These blogs we write.. all of us.. they are our oasis in a sea of self discovery some of which may not be the most pleasant and I will be damned if some righteous nobody will tell me what I should and should not do or how I can express myself.... Stepping off my soapbox and walking away....


Okay not really , but it could have! at 3:35 a.m. we were jerked awake but the rather obnoxious sound of the severe weather warning sirens.. At first we tried to ignore it but noticed the vivid lightening.. we put on the news and low and behold the local weather lady was on.. we were going to get a very fast and a very deadly wallop.. We quickly let the pups out.. Steve called them back in right away .. he did not like how eerie it felt outside.. and then BOOM! the wind blew.. the trees bent.. the rain fell sideways as dime size hail covered the deck.. it took a mightly thump on the side of the house for Steve to agree to go down to the basement/ garage.. we or rather Steve wandered over to the door to watch the fury of this fast storm .. Poor Cookie was beside her little furry self.. we loved on her and tried to make her feel better but she was trembling.. The storm lasted for about 10 minutes if that long.. we went back upstairs to a very dark house.. Cookie had calmed down and we tried to rest a bit more but sleep was ilusive by then.. we were later surprised to learn that approximately one mile from our house.. Someone's home was knocked off its foundation and the roof was ripped off.. there was a lot of damage in that area.. and the storm surveyors were going there today to decide if it was straight line winds or a tornado that wreaked such havoc.. all in all it was a scary morning.. and right now I am pooped.. I need a nap.. but instead I have a long day at work.. I went outside a bit ago.. and now its getting cold out and drizzling and WINDY, yesterday it was over 60 and beautiful outside.. tonight we are suppose to have snow flurries LOL .. how bizzare is that..
Otherwise all is well.. going to the gym tomorrow night..
Enjoying my turkey pastrami sandwich right now.. and a nice fresh apple for lunch..
Wish me well
Wish you well too..
Just being thankful for the Little things today... like not being a victim of that storm last night..
I am glad that siren woke us up!

Monday, February 25, 2008


I read Scale Junkie's blog this morning and I liked her letter to my body post.. and thought it is about time I do the same thing.. so for today's post.. A LETTER TO MY BODY
Dear Body,
You and I have been together now for 45 years.. We were born a bit chunky , our mom gained 12 pounds with us during the pregnancy. We were 8 pounds 7 ounces of that. The doctor prescribed diet pills for our mom so she would not gain much weight during the pregnancy.. Out we came in all of our round glory. We have lots of memories tied to food.. the hidden food, the stuff we were not allowed to have but we found a way to eat them. I apologize body for being scared of being made fun of in gym class and so since the coach liked me so much he would allow me to sit out.. and not question me.. I could never keep up with the other kids.. I was constantly breaking out in rashes.. I am sorry for that.. but I don't know why we had rashes.. but we did.. I could not climb like the other kids and I felt so inferior that I did not let you do much at all.. and when we did do things and tried to pariticpate.. I know it hurt badly when other kids would laugh at you.. or throw the ball at you .. or trip you .. I am so sorry how you got all skinned up because Becky the tall thin girl did not like you in second grade.. When we were ten.. mom decided we needed to see the doctor.. he promptly put us on a diet.. our first of many.. 2 pats of butter, 2 pieces of bread, small servings , no sugar, we lost 20 pounds.. our first cheat together was in Atlanta Georgia at a friends house.. she offered you a mallow mar.. and you relished it like it was manna from heaven.. and then the weight creeped back.. We did everything together.. every diet .. diet pills.. We watched as mom gave us puffed wheat cereal and the minute she walked in the other room we layerd that cereal with table sugar .. as much as we could.. until the milk was sweet and the cereal crunchy with sugar..I am sorry I did that too you.. I just .. I just did not know better.. and I new I wanted sugar... we gained and lost and lost and gained.. getting berated if we gained.. and praised if we lost.. loved more if we lost weight.. but there was something about the food.. that was warm.. like a blanket.. it made me feel better.. I thought it made you feel better.. but I was wrong then and am wrong now.. of this I know.. Diet Center soon came into our lives after boarding school.. we lost 40 pounds.. we gained that back.. one of our sisters had major issues.. and we were the only one who was able to initiate help.. no one wanted to see she was in crisis but us.. and we helped her.. We also helped ourselves to the left over Burger king sandwhiches in the car when we took her to the hospital.. It was the only way I knew how to cope.. back came the weight plus... and then.. there was Nutri system.. we were happy with that.. we lost over 50 pounds.. and then Mom went in the hospital for open heart surgery.. of course I was the one who had to stay with her .. no one else could .. we were in a tiny room.. every time I felt like I wanted to cry .. i went in the even tinier bathroom.. then I would come back and sit with mom.. and she would ask my forgivness for being so hard on me.. I was already in my 20s by then.. but here mom was asking me to forgive her.. I tired to be brave.. but at 3 am when I wandered the halls of the hospital.. and found the icecream sandwiches in the vending machine.. 1 became 2 .. 2 became 4.. I felt briefly better.. and when she went to surgery and came back.. I was fine seeing my mom in the CICU.. but my sisters both fainted.. I remember walking around the right side of my moms bed..and she was bloody from a drain I called a nurse and calmly said this needs to be fixed now.. I looked at my mom she lifted her oxygen mask and whispered to me... SEE I HAVE COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.. I have never forgotten that.. I gained shortly there after.. and then Dad has his own battle with Cancer.. Everyone seemed lost with out Dad.. especially when they said they could not do the surgery because his cancer was too close to the neck of the bladder.. I said what is PLAN B.. everyone else cried.... I was a free eater then not givng much of a damn about losing weight.. I am sorry I made you suffer.. I am sorry we had to let the gall bladder go.. I am sorry 3 years later we had major back surgery.. all because I forced you to do things you were not strong enough to do.. I am so sorry I have hurt you by not eating healthy by not nurturing you.. I am sorry for hating you because I thought you were never pretty , even at 127 pounds I thought you were a a beast.. I thought the plastic surgery would help and it did.. when you were in your early 20s after Diet center you got a Nose job and chin augmentation.. and it did refine you.. in 1989 after nutrisystem.. you got a breast reduction 3 pounds off your chest.. you were the smallest u had ever been in your adult life 127.. but I could not hold that weight.. I stayed at 132 for a VERY LONG liveable time.. and then the world crashed in on me again.. each year I gained at least 10 pounds.. I was lonely .. In the early 90s I would have the misfortune of dating a loser .. A loser that bilked me out of over 18,000 dollars.. a loser that kept telling me if I would only do this or that it would show him how much I loved him.. a loser who told me .. no other man would ever have me.. and I believed it.. In 1996 right after the back surgery.. it was over with him.. and I finally started dating normal guys.. by then I was well into my 30s.. and I was large.. I knew all along you hurt.. I knew our feet were sore.. I knew you hated trying on plus size clothes.. I knew it all. but.. the food always won.. the food "HELPED" me.. yeah it helped me work my way to slow hidden death...
I am apologizing for being so weak of nature .. body.. I am sorry .. So many people think over eating is about food .. but over eating more often than not is about whats missing.. whats hurt.. Over eating is a dangerous bandaid that I have worn for 45 years for this wound or that wound...
Yesterday it was brought to my attention that I am bullshitting.. my blogger buddies.. by not having lost weight since last year.. all I have done is maintain.. which is fine.. which is fine for someone who doe not need to lose 50 more pounds.. I never thought of this as bullshitting.. I started not talking about me as much as putting advice I found out there and links and such.. I did not want to lie.. and oddly enough I have never thought of this as lieing but it is.. am I not lieing to myself.. well I know what I eat.. so I am not lieing about that.. WE are still here struggling... The worst for me is dissapointing those I love.. including myself.. I am sorry to have dissapointed you body yet again... all I can do is try.. there is no magic bullet.. but eating right.. and exercising.. I know I need to exercise and eat smaller portions and log what I eat.. and drink more water.. it seems so simple in typing this.. so easy.. just a few steps.. but these steps have always been incomplete steps in my life.. SO I am sorry body.. I can only offer you try.. I will try and do better.. I will dust off yet again and .. try.. just like I did last year.. I can try for us again... I see the doctor next week for a check up.. he is not going to be too thrilled with me.. but .. nothing I can really do about that.. except start here.. start now.. I am going to log on over at Spark People and see if I like the set up there.. and start logging my food there I think... I am also going to the gym tonight.. BODY U ARE COMING WITH ME... and body you will exercise.. who knows.. you might even like it!..
Body .. in an offbeat, unique way I do love you.. and I am sorry for letting you down year after year.. I am sorry for abusing you with food.. I am sorry for abusing you with excess poundage on your bones.. I am sorry.
Wish me well
Wish you well too

Friday, February 22, 2008


Well its a rainy Friday ..and a Floody Friday in good old Birmingham, Alabama ... so I perused the sunny side of Google and here is what I found ....

something interesting ~A movement called :
THE PYRAMID ( an oldy but a good link )

and here is something we need to do : MOVE IT
and in case you were wondering here are the LYRICS

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH here are recipes featuring KEY LIMES..
8 ounces chicken cutlets
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided
1 tablespoon minced shallots or green onion (white part only)
1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
2 tablespoons fresh Key lime juice ~you can substitute half lemon-half lime juice in the recipes.
1 teaspoon reduced-sodium soy sauce
Minced fresh cilantro
Sprinkle chicken cutlets with salt and pepper.

Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a large, nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.
Add chicken cutlets;
cook until browned on both sides and just cooked through, about 2 minutes per side.
Transfer to a serving plate; keep warm.
Reduce heat to medium; add remaining tablespoon butter to skillet.

Add shallots, and saute until golden, about 1 1/2 minutes.
Add ginger; stir in lime juice and soy sauce.
Bring to a boil; spoon over chicken. Sprinkle with cilantro to serve. Makes 2 servings.

2 (6-ounce) salmon filets, skin removed
2 tablespoons orange juice
2 teaspoons Key lime juice, divided
2 teaspoons Louisiana-style hot sauce, divided
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 clove garlic, crushed through garlic press
1/4 teaspoon salt
Place filets in a shallow dish.

Mix orange juice,
1 teaspoon Key lime juice, and 1 teaspoon hot sauce in a small bowl;
spoon over fillets, turning to coat.
Cover and refrigerate 30 minutes.
Mix butter, garlic, remaining teaspoon lime juice, and remaining teaspoon hot sauce in a small bowl; mix with a fork until blended.
Place filets on rack of broiler pan coated with cooking spray; sprinkle with salt.

Broil 4 to 6 inches from heat source 5 to 6 minutes or until done (no need to turn).
Place fillets on serving plates; spoon butter mixture on fillets. Makes 2 servings.
*******Debby Maugans is a cookbook author, whose books include "Small Batch Baking." She is a contributor to a number of publications and a consultant for some national food firms. *****

~~~SPECIAL THANKS to a wonderful friend of mine for turning me on to these recipes.. I have not tried them .. she says the chicken is WONDERFUL!!! I will do this recipe .. with pictures and a review hopefully this week..~~~~

Thursday, February 21, 2008


FOOD DRAMA... well not really food drama more like trying to find what I want to eat... Over the last year not only have I been really trying to get healthier..but I am also finding I am turning into a bit of a picky eater... why.. I dunno... I have been mulling the lunch syndrome over and over in my head.. Today its left over pasta from dinner the other night.. Tommorow night it will be left over pasta for dinner... Tommorow for lunch I am going to take some of Steve's Homemade chicken soup and homemade challah (egg bread) .. I am trying to get out of that grocery store ramble.. where I walk around accomplish absolutely nothing but walking all over the store trying to find something .. thats not there... What??? Food is not in the grocery store???? well technically it is in the grocery store.. but nothing.. Nothing that I want.. I am getting tired of Frozen meals... So either this morning... or this evening.. or sometime this weekend.. which ever comes first
:-).... I am going to the dreaded store.. to get some turkey Pastrami .. I have everything else ...
Boy talk about yucky weather.. its raining and rainging and raining and then there will be thunderstorms and more rain.. a day for ducks for sure...
Please be sure and stop by my Israel blog.. ANOTHER GREAT ADVENTURE updating that today too..
Keeping it short and sweet today..
Tomorrow is Friday Fun Linky day...
Wish me well
Wish you well too!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


So how is it I could wander around a grocery store this morning and find absolutely nothing I wanted for lunch today.. mind you I have a lunch.. I just wanted something different. I am having a WW calzone and I like those.. but I still just wanted something else.. so I thought SUSHI.. Yummy.. nope.. no fresh Sushi at 8 am. did not even see the Sushi makers there.. so that did not work.. I called Steve and told him of my predicament when I left Publix he said .. tonight we will go back to the store and pick some good lunch alternatives... I.E. Turkey Pastrami, light cheese, light miracle whip ( yes I like my miracle whip better than mayo) light bread.. and maybe some bakes chips.. we will also get some yogurt and start making bigger dinners so I can bring left overs.. he even mentioned about me bringing Talapia fillets to work.. putting a little lemon pepper on them and nuking them... I dont want the office to smell like fish so I am not sure if i will try that one or not.. Ususally I get by on a lean cuisine..but even with the bunches of choices in frozen meals.. nothing else tripped my trigger today... I might pick up some sushi tonight and have it for lunch tomorrow.. and of course I can go to the Subway up the street I like their lighter sandwiches.. so thats an alternative.. usually though I prefer not leaving the office... However on Thurs and Fri I will have to go home at lunch to let the doggies out ( the weather is suppose to be stormy.. and we all know Cookie prefers the bed rather than the storms... lol.. So feasibly I could stop at Subway either tomorrow or Friday and pick up lunch.. will have to think on that one.. I could also go down to Fresh Market and pick something up ie. Sushi or something..... There is a Mcalisters right next door to my office however I prefer not ordering from there... if anyone has any lunch ideas... BRING 'EM ON... leave a comment and let me know... there are tons of fast food places nearby, there is Publix, and FRESH MARKET near by.. Whole foods is a little to far away unless I go there the night before.. there is a Thai place in walking distance too. ( a little pricey for lunch) those are my choices if I do not bring lunch.. so if anyone has some good brown bag ideas aside from frozen meals.. I am all ears.......
We watched Nip Tuck last night.. I think its the season finale not sure.. LOVE THAT SHOW.. in a weird sort of.. well weird way.. love it... and of course we watched the boys sing on AI ... there are about 3 I am impressed with the others .. well they are as Simon would say forgettable... will watch the girls tonight...
Well back to work...
Wish me well
Wish you well too

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I will be updating my Israel trip blog on Thursday and will let you guys know to go check it... this trip is going to be amazing.. I think I am going to come back in better shape actually from all the walking we will be doing...
I am going to be doing a lot of walking this weekend too.. Going with some friends to the RV show.. they love camping and recently bought a trailer RV as they have decided they have gotten a little tent weary... The RV is really nice .. Steve and I prefer biking it on vacations.. but he has talked about getting a RC hookup for our bike.. not sure I really want to drag a small camper behind the bike .. but they have them... hopefully it will not be an investment we make .. but it will be fun the check out the big RVs I think.. so that will be about 5 hours of walking on Saturday..
I often find myself asking... what am I feeding ? when I eat... am I feeding hunger.. or pre hunger or some type of emotion when I eat.. or am I feeding curiousity.. for example.. say if there is a new product on the market.. sometimes I buy it so i can sample it and then through the rest away.. for me .. albeit expensive this works great... I taste the new product.. ( be it a light icecream or a new cereal...etc) then I trash it... Yeah it is wasteful I know.. but sometimes I prefer things to be wasteful not waist FULL. and I also answer my curiousity and it is over... I don't look at it as a compulsion.. and it is not like I go buy fat full junk.. its usually a new product geared towards lighter foods... most of the stuff I try .. be it a dessert, cracker or snack.. I am dissapointed with most new things I try.. but at least I don't wonder about it.. I found something today called harvest Selections by Del Monte.. I found the lowest calorie one toping in at 270 with 4 grams of fiber. I tried to find a photo online but could not find much info on them.. not sure what that is about.. anyhow.. will eventually try and report about it... its a shelf stable meal that does not need to be in the freezer.. so we shall see about that.. .. ANYHOW.. as I was saying ... what do we feed when we feed ourselves. I think its an important question.. one we should silently ask ourselves before we are ready to eat... is our body in need of fuel.. am I bored? am I this or am I that? does the clock say its time to eat.. am I really hungry... ? learning how to pick up on our body cues will be a great tool in being successful.. I have not mastered this yet.. but am working on it.. weight wise I am still maintaining as I have been doing since November.. so I guess that is good.. but I do .. want more...
My goals for now.. are to either lose a little or maintian through the Israel trip.. I have been going to the gym a little now.. doing that eliptical machine.. I am telling you that is the best machine for anyone with injuries or soreness or limitations...When I come home something tells me that after 2 weeks of eating the Israeli way... my body will be developing new eating habits due to circumstances which might just be a really good thing.. I seiously doubt I will be carbing out there.. and as I have said before I look forward to all the yummy fruits and veggies we will be eating.....
Well off to deal with another Tuesday...
Wish me well
Wish you well too!!

Monday, February 18, 2008


I really like this machine and yes you can get a great work out on it too.. It is called the TOTAL body ELPITICAL MACHINE.. for those us that can not do the upright Eliptical this is a great alternative, I love challenging myself on new levels.. I love seeing my heart rate go up... My goal before I leave for my Israel trip is too just build my stamina.. when I come back in April from all the walking and touring and hiking .. I should be really in a position to feel more comfortable with exercising because I will be challenging myself when we are there too.. so all of this is good..
The great thing about this upcoming trip will be the eating believe it or not.. Israel has some of the best produce on the planet... salads galore.. and mediteranian choices that are good for you.. of course there will be the really yummy but not so good for you fair.. Falafel, and blintzes.. but I figure if I share the treats with my husband and eat the fresh fruit and veggies ( Israel is a safe country to eat in , that is what everyone tells me... the only thing I have been warned about is the water, but if I drink bottled water I will be fine... their water is not bad , but if you have a sensistive tummy it can make you sick.. so I plan on sticking to bottled water, .. Food wise here is a list I found :
Israeli Food & Dining Glossary
Alei Dafna:
Bay leaves.
Amba: Spicy mango pickle sauce, typically available at all falafel stands.
Baharat: Spice combination from the Eastern Mediterranean consisting of chili, black pepper, paprika, cloves, cinnamon,nutmeg, cardamom, cumin and coriander.
Baklawa: Sweet pastry made with leafy dough, filled with pistachios, honey and nuts.
Bakar: Beef.
Basar Lavan: Pork.
Basilicum: (also known as Reychan) Basil.
Beitzim: Eggs.
Borscht: A cold beet-based soup that is typically served with sour cream.
Burekas: Pastry of Turkish origin, filled with cheese, potato, meat, spinach or eggplant.
Challah: (also spelled: hallah) Ashkenazic egg bread. Usually made in braided form for the Sabbath, and in circular form for the Jewish new year (so that we remember the circular nature of life.).
Chalav: Milk.
Cholent: A slow-cooked stew of meat, potatoes and beans often made for Shabbat.
Couscous: Moroccan dish of tiny semolina grains.
Cusbara :(also known as Gad) Cilantro.
Dag: Fish.
Etrog: (also spelled: Esrog) Hebrew word for citron, a rare citrus fruit that resembles a lemon, but which has coarser skin. It is used in the festival of Sukkot.
Falafel: Chickpea and vegetable mixture made into balls and fried. Served in pita bread this is most common fast food in the country, which is served with a variety of salads, pickles etc.
Ful: The name for this fava or ‘broad’ bean is pronounced fool. Ful mudammas, (a type of stew) is considered the Egyptian national dish.
Gefilte fish: Literally, "stuffed fish." A mixture of ground fish--typically, pike, carp, and whitefish--that traditionally was stuffed back into a fish skin.
Gvina Levana: White Cheese (soft,spreadable)
Gvina Tzehuba: Yellow Cheese (hard)

Halvah: Sweet made of ground sesame seeds.
Hamantashen: Triangular pastries stuffed with jam, poppy seeds, or honey which are. eaten on Purim (to remind us of the villain Haman in the Purim story).
Harif: Chili-type hot sauce, eaten with falafel. Also refers to anything spicy.
Harira: Moroccan soup.
Harisa: Hot Tunisian chili paste.
Hawayij: Yemenite spice combination made of black pepper, caraway seeds, saffron and cardamom.
Hummus: A spread made of chickpeas, typically eaten as an appetizer with pita bread.
Irit: Chives.
Jachnun: Yemenite pastry.
Kaf: Tablespoon.
Kafe': Coffee.
Kapit: Teaspoon.
Kebab: Minced meat, grilled on a skewer.
Kinuach: Dessert.
Kerach: Ice.
Kreplach: Jewish version of wonton or ravioli. Simple dough stuffed with a mixture of ground meat (usually liver and onions). It is s either as a side dish, or floating in chicken soup.
Kubbeh: Fried Iraqi fritters made from bulgur and semolina, usually filled with meat, onions and pine nuts.
Labaneh: Sour-tasting spread made from yogurt or goat’s milk,(sometimes served as round balls as well). Usually eaten as an appetizer.
Latke: Crispy potato pancake fried in oil. Typically served for Hanukkah.
Lechem: Bread.
Ma'im: Water.
Malawach: Yemenite type of bread.
Mana Acharona: Dessert.
Mana Ikarit: Main Course.
Marak: Soup.
Marvah: Sage.
Mazleg: Fork.
Melach: Salt.
Meltzar: Waiter.
Menta: Spearmint.
Mis’ada: Restaurant.
Mitz Tapuzim: Orange Juice.
Nana: Peppermint.
Petrosilia: Parsley.
Pita: Round pocket bread.
Rosemarine: Rosemary.
Salat: Salad.
Sabich: Fast food dish, eaten in pita bread, consisting of hummus, eggplant, potato, hard-boiled egg, and salad.
Schwarma: Rotisserie grilled meat.
Shamir: Dill.
Shipudiayh: Grill restaurant.
Shumar: Fennel.
Sufganiot: Israeli donuts typically eaten on Hanukkah.
Sukar: Sugar.
Sumac: Cherry red spice used for its sour taste, is often mixed with Za’atar.
Tabbouleh: (also spelled: Tabouli) Cracked wheat salad typically made with parsley, tomatoes, cucumber, and mint.
Tafrit: Menu.
Tahina: (also spelled Tahini) Sesame paste, usually eaten with hummus or falafel, but can be eaten on its own as well.
Timin: (also known as Koranit) Thyme.
Tzalachat: Plate.
Yayin Adom: Red Wine.
Yayin Lavan: White Wine.
Za’atar: Mixture of hyssop, thyme leaves and sesame seeds, used in salads, with Labaneh etc.
Zhug: Hot Yemenite mixture made from fresh parsley, coriander and chili peppers as well as garlic, salt, pepper and cardamom.

Food wanderings in Israel : Ethnic choices you can even find the GOLDEN ARCHES.. which is kind of odd to me because some of them are kosher and only serve meat dishes.. NO DAIRY .. in other words, no milk shakes, no cheese burgers etc... odd but .. hey if you keep Kosher its the way it has to be... I am going to steer clear of those type places sticking with authentic Israeli and Middle Eastern foods... I found it interesting that like America, Israel is a melting pot as far as food goes.. You can find anything ( perhaps not a cheeseburger) there.. I am so looking forward to the fresh fruits and veggies and fresh pita with real humus .. that will be so good.. Our Itinerary has grown .. we will be doing a lot of walking and hiking.. and traversing through this amazing and historical place.. this will not only be an adventure of soul but a culinary adventure as well.. I will be taking tons of pictures you can bet on that.. a little less than a month to go and we will be in the land of Milk and Honey...
Wish me well
Wish you well too

Friday, February 15, 2008


Several of you have asked me whats going on with Steve regarding the blood tests... for those of you who do not know.. Steve is a cancer survivor... Prostate cancer.. he was diagnosed on his 50th birthday May of 2002. that was 6 months after my dad had been killed in the auto accident.. My dad had been a prostate cancer survivor too.. so the task Steve and I had to go through at that time was twice as difficult with out dad.... but He and I did survive together.. Cancer can tear a couple apart or bind them together in a way that there are no words for... Cancer is a testament to the depth of of your ability to handle the worst of life. We lived that.. Steve always says he got off easy... he had the surgery was successful. however shortly after the surgery he had an infection called Epididymitis this infection can be very painful for a man... in our case his Epididymitis was caused by his surgery and resulting infection.. so he had a second surgery to correct this.. and remove scar tissue from the first surgery.. well.. long story short for the past 6 years he has had chronic pain.. it comes in flair ups..
He went for a check up a couple weeks ago... and our doctor sent him back to the urologist..when Steve mentioned the pain again... they did a ultrasound and they saw something .. since the original doctor who did the surgery has since moved on..... the new doctor is being very thorough.. the new doctor(urologist) does not think its cancer again.. but he wants to check every thing to be sure... SO our regular doctor noted it was time for Steve to have a colonoscopy..... Steve's colonoscopy was clean .. so thats good.. however our regular doctor wanted to run another blood test regarding Steve's sugar... .. ( his sugar was high in two previous blood works but he had just eaten) to check his blood sugar for signs of diabeties because it runs in his family... and the urologist wants blood tests also, to check for markers for cancer ...from what we understand.. So that is why in the last post I made the comment regarding the blood work.. ( He had the blood work yesterday .. a fasting blood test) We will traverse whatever way we have to.. Our hope is the tests are clean.. and we just move on.. the fear is .. well.. you know the fear.. so thats where we are on that topic... So..if you don't mind say a little extra prayer for my Steve.. I do every day and every night.. and if you have a spouse or a partner...especially over 40.. make them get their check ups... make them.. get their PSA , if sweetness does not work.... be tough about it.. nag about it.. until they get their check ups.. Steve is good about getting his check ups... We gotta take care of those we love.. just as we have to take care of ourselves ...
Moving on~!~
Friday Linkys:


Thursday, February 14, 2008


Today I dedicate the first part of my blog to my husband.. my husband.. never in all my life did I really think I would get to put those two words together.. MY and HUSBAND.. I was so excited to get a card for Valentines day that said TO MY HUSBAND.. it may be silly to some but I always thought those Valentine cards for Husbands and wives were kinda goofy.. and then this year it was ohhh look I get to buy one now.. it was more about buying a card with the words MY HUSBAND on them then actually buying a Valentines card... Sometimes I bang those two words together like cymbals.. LOUD.. I put myself between those words and stand in the middle and stretch my hands out to pull those two words close together.. words I never thought would be mine.. I look at my Steve with a new respect... I look at my Steve with a new love that just seems to grow more precious by the minute. He is always surprised by how I feel .. but I think in a way he feels similar.. You can be together with someone for years.. live with them.. really live with them.. travel through life experiences together.. but when you marry.. it solidifies that relationship even more.. it adds a particular holiness to it all. I thank God every day for Steve.. I pray every night that God keeps him safe and healthy. Today Steve is going for blood tests.. in a few days we will be on the other side.. problem or no problem.. we will continue on.. we will survive whatever is given us.. for that which is difficult for one can be carried by two with far more ease. Steve is my blessing.. my most cherished blessing.
I also dedicate today's post to all of my weight loss warriors in my side bar.. Stop by and visit their blogs.. They are my friends.. We are all souls connected by one simple dream, one simple goal.. to be healthier.. to be better than we are right now physically . As we traverse this road .. we have found other common threads that have weaved these long distance friendships even closer.. You girls and guys are my friends.. You get it.. You understand it.. thank you for always encouraging me to be the best me that I can .. Even when I would rather eat chocolate and pizza but not together... :-)
There are a lot of you I have not found yet.. and I peruse the internet often looking for new souls to connect with on this journey.. connect with me first if you find me... I will put you in my sidebar so I can keep up with you...
Lindsey i am still looking for you .. Please come back if you are reading this..
Blogging keeps me going.. the one thing it has done is kept my weight off or with in a 2 pound range... thats a miracle... now blogging and i have to get the rest of this off.. we have too.. we have to reach.. and see the top of that hill.. and see the sunrise and sunset from new perspective... I know what I want.. You know what you want.. it will not be given to us.. we will have to fight for it.. and work for it.. and climb for it.. and fall for it.. and get back up for it... for.. ourselves...
Happy Valentines Day to you all
I love you...
Wish me well
Wish you well too!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Well with Valentines day tomorrow.. I started thinking about all the people in my life, even those I do not know personally but probably share more with them than those that know me personally... so I thought we could play a little game I call CURIOUS ( it is pretty similiar to all those other memes out there)

~This all you have to do.. share 20 facts/actualities about yourself pertaining to anything.. let me know if you played so I can learn some 'ACTUALITIES ABOUT YOU ~
So here are mine:

1~ My hair is naturally curly
2~ I have not started coloring it yet.. I kinda like my gray in curious kind of way.
3~ My favorite color is purple
4~ I love crisp cool weather and clear electric blue skies
5~ I enjoy American Idol
6~ I do not like coconut and never will
7~ I like most fruits and veggies.. but I do not like lima beans or okra... NEVER
8~ As a child I liked ketchup but did not like tomatos
9~ I like to experiment with all sorts of herbs in cooking
10~ I sing
11~ I quit singing in public when my dad died ( he and my mom were suppose to hear me sing with our jewish community choral group at a Shopping area for the Winter holiday celebration the night after the wreck) ( The folks who did sing dedicated that evening to me and family)
12~ For those of you that do not know my dad was killed in an auto accident November 9th 2001
13~ I took piano lessons for 2 weeks when I was in second grade guess I must not have enjoyed it too much..
14~ When I was a teenager I loved hard rock , everyone from Kiss to Van Halen , I spent many a summer night going to rock concerts, Rod Stewart, Styx, Kansas, Van Halen, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Kiss and many others... (that was when concert tickets were 7-10 bucks for the good seats)
15 ~My parents were pretty cool with letting me decorate my room with pictures from 16 magazine when I was 13.. I went from John Travolta, to Kiss.. go figure.. My first teen crush was on John Travolta, I had him plastered all over my bedroom, My first R rated movie was Saturday Night Fever.
16~ A couple summers before I went to Boarding School I painstakenly cut out pictures of KISS and made their Logo in HUGE LETTERS over my bed... ( taped each piece up individually I wish I had a picture of that)
17 ~When I went to boarding school, my room was redecorated into a guest room, all pictures came down and the walls were painted some sort of light green, and nice framed pictures were hung up ( my dad was in the furniture business after all) No one told me until after the fact~
18~ My grandmother bought me my first Kiss album ( 3 album set) for 14 dollars at an old 5 and 10 store called Newberrys
19~I am ambidexterous and left hand dominate, I was forced to learn how to write with my right hand back in grammar school
20~ I love music in general, everything from broadway to classical and still that good old rock and roll, blues and so on...
Wish me well
Wish you well too

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


There are paths I am avoiding..
I have the talk down.. but I am forgetting the tools to get me there.. I know I want the freedom.. the freedom of easier movement.. the freedom of being free from shame... the freedom of "THE LOOK" that I get .. the freedom from others who feel it necessary to remind me that losing weight will make me feel better and be able to do things.. ( a BIG FAT DUH!!!! YA THINK??? )
I have lost about 30 pounds in the last year.. and then like a chain reaction I stopped.. first the engine slowed..
then the wheels slowed..
then the body started coasting along..
Then engine reved a few times with that deep gurgle sound..
it got above a putter and almost got smooth but then it got quiet again..
. coasting along.. trying to find the right road..
if I turn around.. death is going to meet me a lot faster to be blunt. that brick wall .. its solid and there is no return once you hit it.. and before I hit that wall.. . the joints will creak more... the back will ache more the reflux will roar its burning fire into my body.. its dark and bumpy back there.. with flashing lights of foods that intice and bring along bad drama... it holds the jeers and the stares and the shaking of heads as I drive past.. When I look back I see it all as if it were clear.. as if it were now.. but it is not.. it was then... If I turn to the left.. thats a resting place... I won't go forward and I won't go backward.. things will change with out me.. life will fly by me... if I go to the right.. its the same thing as the left..
If I go straight.. there is a enormous hill that I have to travel up...
but if I really make it to the top this time.. I will see that life is peaks and valleys and no place is flat like the dessert plains or like Florida for that matter..
This road.. this path.. will be yielding to twists and turns.. and hills and holes.. and bridges and detours.. and flashing signs screaming STOP... EAT... flickering to my past in the distance... If I go this road.. I will have to continue breathing... continue moving.. Fueling myself with water, fruits and veggies... smaller portions of protien and carbs... that is what I will have to do on this Road before me.. First up.. then down.. then around.. each curve a new adventure .. each twist a new challenge before me...
Wish me well
Wish you well too!


Honi's favorite exercise machine:

read about it

Sunday, February 10, 2008


What happens on a Sunday in Honi's house... preping food wise for the week ahead...
IN pictures:

love laughing cow light cheese with carrots...

darn it forgot to pack my carrots and laughing cow cheese for today... but I made enough for the week and now next monday lol..

Fiber One Carmel Delight cereal is a yummy snack or breakfast...
Dinner for the week... Zucchini Lasagna and baked garlic and herb chicken...

Quick and easy breakfast either at home or work.. very good..

Going to gym tonight , my ankle is still bothering me just going to do what I can it walking on the track or riding the recumbent eliptical machine..

On Sunday Steve and I watched Steve's son David compete in the Mercedes half marathon early in the morning. He is in training for the Iron Man competion in Arizona in April. I think it is amazing to show that spirit and devotion to these competitions. David's wife Lindsey was telling me that some folks do these competitions professionally... but a majority do them for the reason David does them.. for the competion and to challenge themselves.. which I think is outstanding.. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a body that could do that.. to have that devotion to that particular challange.. it is impressive to watch all these runners. it is impressive to watch this challenge.

I also am impressed with the example they are setting for their son Drew... They eat healthy.. every now and then have some treaty stuff ... but basically just eat healthy and showing him that exercise is good for you and can be enjoyed. They do not have forbidden foods which I think is wonderful.. having been a child to grow up in a home that had forbidden foods... I cringe when I hear how some parents monitor their kids.. even their toddlers food intake.. personally from experience.. if you lead by example rather then denial.. you end up with a child that has a healthier relationship with food and does not end up gourging his or herself when they get to indulge in "forbidden food"... there should be NO forbidden foods. When my mother had me .. her doctor had her go on diet pills she gained 12 pounds.. I was 8 pounds 6 ounces of that weight.. My mom was tiny .While I believe those diet pills contributed to my learning issues.. I have to guess that my mother did the best she could do while raising me regarding food.. but I do not believe she did it the right way.. even though she did the best she could.

MIRACLE! DRINKING my 32 oz of Propell water right now.. I bought this little container that looks like one of those water bottle holders you see in offices .. only mine is little but holds 32 oz.. My goal for now is to drink either 32. 0z of plain water or mix Propell mixed berry flavor and drink it all in the morning.. 32 oz is amazing for me and thats my goal for now eventually I will drink 2 of these.. .. working hard to try and drink water~ Did you guys know I tried to go green and recycle a Propell water bottle for weeks at a time .. I would wash it out with warm water and soap.. apparently it did not get dry enough.. I started getting sick M-f Stomach issues.. well Friday I noticed ( THIS IS GROSSS) mold all in the bottle.. DID not drink from bottle and did not get sick on Friday... so Sunday I bought a new real Water bottle.. and I will empty at the end of each day and make sure it is drying out... shesshhh I wondered why I was having stomach issues during the week.. LOL now I know~~~




That's it for Monday...
Wish me well
Wish you well too~~

Friday, February 8, 2008


Though I do not promote eating snack cakes all the time.. I found myself VERY IMPRESSED with these ANGEL CAKES the Lemon and Strawberry are Fat free and have about 100 calories in them. the Cream filled one does contain a little fat comes in at 120 and its pretty light and good.. My favorite so far is the Lemon, we have not tried the Strawberry yet... The Lemon Angel Cake reminds me of my grandmothers Sponge cake.. a sweet tartness and very light texture, with a wonderful taste of goodness and for me a fond memory. I look at these treats in two lights.. If you have children .. these are a GREAT ALTERNATIVE to all TASTY CAKES and LITTLE DEBBIES out there.. Your child has a light sweet snack while their buddies might be eating fat filled snacks loaded with trans fats and stupidly caloric... For us who just want a sweet treat here and there.. You will LOVE this light TREAT... One thing you will notice is the size.. its not some rinky dink tiny treat.. ITS A FULL CUPCAKE OR MUFFIN SIZE.. I was REALLY impressed with that.. I think what I really loved more than anything was how it tasted real..not like most of the other snack food out there.. Especially the lemon one.. I could have closed my eyes and imagined my grandmothers sponge cake in my mouth.. the taste was virtually identical.. and I have not had her sponge cake in probably over 15 years now...It was one of my favorite treats as a child.. so this was a nice surprise this evening..

In other news...

The downstairs fridge was hauled off today .. its dead...

The upstairs fridge is getting a digital thermestat something or other regulator thingie... that will be Monday..

Below are the ANGEL CAKE PHOTOS:


Have a sweet weekend
Wish me well
Wish you well too..




I bet they would not know that it is not what they think it is because you know it's better than what they think it is while it's not as bad as what it appears to be.. ( yeah that took me a while to think of for a snack.). here is a picture to make it easier ALWAYS REMEMBER TO READ THE NUTRITIONAL LABEL and WATCH THE SERVING SIZE this whole box does not have 200 calories in it.. it has ABOUT 2 servings in it..

Read the nutritional info... and yes the LEAN GOURMET are probably smaller than this but frankly I would rather have 11 pieces of something compared to six pieces..

Did you know since it is HEART MONTH and its Dress in RED time .. there are some ROCKING CRUNCHY apples out there.. READ THIS had one last night very YUMMY~

With the Holiday of Love coming up next week why not shower your sweetie with words instead of chocolate.. Nothing like a good old fashioned love letter or love list.. In fact.. instead of it just being sweeties day.. Why not give a note to all of those you love or care about... minus candy.. no gifts needed.. not even flowers.. Put on paper what is in your heart... Type it .. write it.. color it.. doodle it... give it.. For I think we tend to forget that the most precious gifts are those that can not be wrapped, bundled or tied up with a pretty bow.. Time , love, listening are gifts that are priceless.. start a new trend .. put the candy pushers out of business ( yeah like that would ever happen) SAY I LOVE by actually saying I LOVE YOU... it feels better than chocolate tastes.. okay maybe thats pushing it a bit.. but you know what I mean....
Steve just called to let me know about a new product he is carrying he wants me to put it on my blog its individually wrapped little stuffed angel food cakes ( i think fruit fillings) that are between 90-100 calories each.. I will do a feature on them this weekend or Monday.. have to take a some pictures of them..
Other news...
I do find the links on AT PEACE WITH FOOD useful.. I do think she offers some great advice .. she does ask you to purchase cds if you are interested and she does give counseling sessions 2 hour min. ( 85.00) an hour. the cds are reasonably priced I think.. who knows.. maybe she has some good advice.. heaven knows I would love to be at peace with food.. I would love to be at peace with exercise as well.. I am tired of always feeling so tightly wound and that awful feeling in my gut.. I could use some peace.. now does this make me an unhappy person.. not really.. I am basically a happy person.. but we all have room for improvement....

Thursday, February 7, 2008


DELICIOUS , we tried them last night and one cake per person was more than satisfying.

I did go to the gym last night : Well she did it again.. got my target heart rate up to 116.. did that bike thing for 30 minutes YAY ME.. I spoke with a fitness counselor and she has my target heart rate at 105-140 my max is 175 so I did okay last night ...will build nice and slowly..
I was going to go tonight but .. I have so much I want to do at home so I can have the weekend to play a bit... and get things for our upcoming trip too..
The other day I noticed our fridge upstairs was not cooling like it usually does.. Then last night I noticed it was darn warm in the fridge top two shelves.. we have the freezer on the bottom Fridge on top GE PROFILE.. then the one downstairs has been fritzy lately too .. it is fridge on bottom freezer on top..
So I call GE the soonest they can get out for an emergency ( remember my husband is in the food business and we use the downstairs fridges for storage of samples.. ( we have another fridge plus 4 other freezers down stairs..) but the fridges are for his salads and things like that) is FEBRUARY 14th... this is bad... so while I am talking to the GE girl .. she knows it bad and says she has put in a call to the dispa and the phone goes dead... so I call back and GE GUY has no idea but notes that we have two appointment on feb14 I explain situation for the second time... and he has me call GE consumer panel I speak with a lovely lady .. she says they are going to try and get through to dispatch and if I do not hear from them by 1 pm my time to call back.. Steve meanwhile has pulled the fridge out vacuumed behind it , taken the back off the fridge and vacuumed it as well as he could.. maybe it was a blocked something or other who knows.. My solution.. unplug it and plug it back in and see if it works.. ( DO I SPEND TO MUCH TIME WITH COMPUTERS?????) geez.. an EMERGENCY APPOINTMENT TAKES A WEEK>> THAT IS CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!.. but they are trying to be helpful.. oh and we do not even know if the damn things are out of warranty or not.. we can not find the serial numbers on them.. U think they might put it in a easy place for the consumer.. hmmm?? so now we are waiting an in an hour I will call them back... 2 Fridges barely breathing... not a good day in the house of Honi... *UPDATE* just talked with Steve .. and we finally got a home warranty program YAY.. it starts today.. he also got a call from GE the soonest they can get to us is Monday... Steve may call the home warranty folks and get service sooner not sure though...STILL MONDAY???? when our microwave broke they came out the same day and it was fixed (to the tune of 60.00 dollars.. ) sigh...
I need a nap...
Wish me well
Wish you well too..
Oh and for those that asked me.... Cookie is part Australian Shepard and Part chocolate lab.. she loves TV will watch all shows and commercials involving dogs or anything she percieves as a dog... (which sometimes is a hippo or two) and she also loves American Idol.. not so sure why.. but she will sit there as is evidient from yesterdays picture and watch it...

Tuesday, February 5, 2008



WHOLE FOODS love it but can be pricey

FRESH MARKET love it but can be pricey

TRIA MARKET have not been here yet but going this weekend...

I made a really yummy salad for dinner tonight we topped it off with zucchini latkas and a great dessert... Hershey's Dark chocolate 60 calorie bars.


I used:

Field Greens mix prewashed

olive oil and balsalmic vinegar

an ounce of part skim Buffalo Moz. Cheese

a mix of shredded Italian style cheese ( a couple light handfuls.. I have small hands so keep that in mind)

cherry tomatos ( 1 container)

fresh cilantro and fresh basil chopped


GOT STEVE's VOTE OF APPROVAL it was really good.. we had zucchini latkas too and they were great ... a really nice light meal..


and a bonus picture of Cookie watching AMERICAN IDOL:



Went to the gym last night and walked on the track after about 12 minutes of walking my left ankle starting giving out.. rather than giving up I went and got on the sit down eliptical machine.. and stayed on it for 20 minutes getting my heart rate up too 122 .. yay me.. if the weather is not bad on my way home.. I am going to stop at the gym again today.. if not I will do it Thursday evening after work..... and I have to tell you when I exercise I feel much better than when I do not.. so there must be something good going on~~~..


what do you think about that? Helping and encouraging is one thing.. but BANNING??? sheesh....
Wish me well
Wish you well too

Monday, February 4, 2008


Who will you be?
So you are looking in the mirror once again casting a critical eye on what you see..,. Starting at the top... you can see smatterings of grey .. or perhaps more than smatterings... there are lines on your forehead that now have cousins lazily outlining your eyes.. your brows might need a pluck or two or a really good wax.. perhaps your entire face could use a clean up.. your neck is freckled where pale skin in winter used to reside.. and golden skin in summer glowed down your chest.. boobs don't sit where they used too.. and of course your entire body has never been what you really meant it to be.. the lumps and bumps and rolls and curves and lines of the person you .. YOU... this is your road is your road map of what you have done and where you have been.. your body is always journaling you...

Or perhaps your skin still glows with that youthful fluidity... your hair rich in color caressess the flawless face .. no lines on your skin yet.. but deep down you know they will one day make their apperance .. for how can you say you have lived with out laugh lines to mark their territory...You wonder how you got to be the size you are ... and why can't you just lose the weight.. young woman.. when you are well passed your thirties.. you might be asking yourself the same thing.. the questions are always the same.. You want to wear that short skirt .. those high fashion pants with the spike healed shoes.. you want him to notice you.. not because you are a really swell friend but because you are a living breathing woman.. who meets the standards of attractiveness this world has demanded from us. but in the mirror there you are.. fleshy and filled out.. why am I still in this body.. you ask... so does your over 40 counterpart... only age rides with her.. youth still surrounds you...and youth is turning into to wisdom for her... You think about starvation.. you think about the binges... you think about the freedom of eating what ever you want... you think about the yelling in your head .. screaming at you for every imperfection that makes you whole... you think about the pounds and the ounces as you watch the scale teeter totter back and forth.. Who will you be?
Will you be a food whore.. and give in to eating more than you need.. ? Will you be a warrior and find a new way? Will you be the one that continues to change and can adapt to life changes while being fair with yourself? Will you think its far easier to grab those fries, eat those cookies , slice a wedge of cake and surpress how you feel? This is your choice.. it knows no age... it knows no skin color... it only has has much power over you as you give it.. WILL You be brave no matter what your age.. Will you be honest with yourself... at all costs... WILL YOU SET YOURSELF FREE.. by making the right choices...