Thursday, May 8, 2008


As I peruse around the blogs and messages boards.. I am surprised to see how many people do not have the support they need from spouses or significant others.. I am a little baffled by that . You would think the person that is suppose to love you the most would want the best for you. My husband is my greatest fan. No matter how many times I have tried and failed.. he rallies with me and helps again when I am ready to take a leap. Sure he gets frustrated with me.. I get frustrated with me.. but he is my support system.. along with our pups.. He keeps me going and gives me encouragement and goes grocery shopping with me. I simply could not imagine being on this journey with out him.. I know I could do it by myself.. but having the support is really nice.. as is having each of your support too. I have read a lot of stories about spouses both male and female .. sabatoging healthy initatives by the spouse trying to make changes. That is sad and wrong.. Each of us should always want the best for those we love. I can understand fear though.. Fear of change.. fear that the person going through the change might not love you the same way once they have reached goal. Perhaps even the fact that the spouse who made the changes now gets attention they did not have before.. that can feel threatening too I am sure.. I know a lot of marriages that do not survive weight loss.. however those marriages were in deeper trouble prior to the weight loss. People can change their attitude about anything.. When you are together with your spouse as they make changes it might spur you to do the same thing or not.. If you have a strong foundation.. and a healthy marriage then that spouse who made themselves healthier is only a bonus to that marriage. Thats how my husband looks at it I think.. He looks at it as a benefit for him.. It allows us to do more.. and be more active the healthier I am.. and the healthier he is. A win win situation if you ask me. I hope each of you has a supportive friend or spouse as you travel along getting to a healthier you..
Tommorow is weigh day..


Hanlie said...

My husband is also my biggest supporter. The best part is that he doesn't expect me to do anything he's not prepared to do too. But it's true that a lot of partners are actively saboteurs. A friend of a friend is getting divorced following her weight loss. Her husband just can't handle the change in her, and of course she has learnt to stand up for herself through this journey.

We're the lucky ones!

Anonymous said...

I don't have a hubby, and my eldest (also morbidly obese) always is discouraging. My biggest supporter, believe it or not, is my 14 year old daughter, who is always telling me how much fun it will be when we can share a closet.

I tended to gain weight when I was in relationships... and having kids didn't help ;)

This is the first time weigh loss has been about and for ME... which is why I think I succeeded at first (and why I worry I'm failing now). I find MYSELF worrying about what will happen when I've lost the weight... and how my life will change.

Felicia said...

My husband rocks! He is the biggest support I have. He is wonderful. I was told when I started looking at WLS that "if your marriage is good before surgery it will be good after and vs versa." I think that holds true with any kind of weight loss. If you are a team before you will be a team during and after. Lots of insecurities come up on both sides when one side is changing.

I am super lucky and I know it. My husband is just wonderful. And we are closer now than ever.

I can honestly say though that along side him I have had MANY wonderful supporters on my journey. From wonderful people I met on ObesityHelp to the fab bloggers of Healthy You Challenge. Luckily there is always someone out there some where to support someone *grin*.

Great post!

Grumpy Chair said...

My husband is my biggest sabotager.

He knows I am on a diet and will bring home two blueberry doughnuts for me every Saturday morning when he buys the kids doughnuts. I told him two weeks ago not to bring me anymore because I don't eat them. He did it again this past Saturday. They went into the trash. Grrr.

Honi, I think you are so lucky to have a supportive mate willing to help cook and eat healthy things with you.