FAMILY FROM OUR WEDDING

Monday, May 5, 2008

ASSUMING A WHOLE NEW IDENTITY

Interesting, Hanlie said making these changes is like changing your identity.. a whole new Identity .. hmm I thought about that for a while and I like that idea.. maybe its a way to view things and let the old stuff go.. the wondering why I scavenge when I know I have eaten.. the having to remind myself I have eaten when two hours later my head is going.. so .. uhmmm how about a snack Honi? Do you think by assuming a whole new identity.. that I could shake the old ways.. or are they so deeply a part of me do I just make a tune up and move on? and everytime they appear just remind myself.. you have eaten you are not really hungry.. this is stress talking.. seems stress talks to me a lot lately.. and it is really for now little things.. like the new pup.. she is about to wear any patience I have out.. she has literally eaten everything out on the deck, a camp chair is now minus an arm, 3 outside rugs are partially eaten because of her.. and one of the patio chairs has a partially eaten seat.. nothing terribly expensive yet.. and yes she has plenty of chew toys... she also uses Cookie as a chew toy and I have no idea why Cookie wont fight back.. all I know is that when we get after Cookie she gets very upset she can not stand for us to be angry with her.. so all I can think is.. that she lets Lucky do whatever she wants to her because she is afraid if she fights back or plays too rough.. we will get upset with her ... it really bothers me the way Lucky is so aggressive with her.. I have seen her grab cookie by the neck and try to shake her.. I do jump in then .. I clap loudly and tell Lucky a sharp and loud NO... Steve is pretty suckered by her.. she snuggles up to him... follows him around and every now and then even listens when he calls her name.. if I did not know better I would swear she was a cat... in fact I think she thinks she is.. did I tell you about the table outside she climbs on and lays on??.. yeah our nice mosaic table this mutt likes to lay on because she thinks she is too good to lie on the deck.. I am still hoping to place her in a single dog home..and if she harms Cookie .. she is gone.. .. we had a great home for.. with a little boy to play with and everything.. .. and its a absolutely pathetic why she did not go .. if you want to know.. email me @ honib1@aol.com and I will email you the WHOLE STORY.... anyhow.. food wise .. its all been good.. I have been walking in the neighborhood.. here is the addition to what I have been doing.. M-Th. walking outside.. Sat and Sunday .. either yoga or stability ball dvd.. Leslie Sansone has some dvds out that are great.. and not to hard to do but you get a nice work out.... and don't feel awkward or silly learning the positions.. so I am looking forward to that.. I don't do well in groups I prefer to exercise alone... it works better for me.. I can challenge myself rather than trying to be like someone else... so thats where I am at right now for a Monday..
Still trying to figure the inside workings out.. still trying to adjust my way of thinking and reminding myself that I do not have to turn all emotion to food.. that I can think and feel.. and it is all okay..
Wish me well
wish you well too
Hey if ya wanna win a bicycle.. click HERE

5 comments:

jj said...

I do wish you well, and think you have a great attitude!

Scale Junkie said...

It is like assuming a whole new identity...changing things about ourselves that have been a part of us for years. So worth it!

Lucky is still there? I thought Lucky found a new home. Hmmmm

I've added another entry for you for the linkback on the bike, woohoo!!

Scale Junkie said...

Oh Max thinks he's a cat too, he sits on the window ledges like a cat...but he growls and barks at the cats.

buddha_girl said...

Stress is my hell demon as well. I know when I'm on the edge because I get mesmerized by food so easily even though I can't pack it away like I used to before surgery.

You're finding your TRUE identity and morphing into the person you want to be. Just realize that you can't leave parts of yourself behind even if you wish you could.

I tend to believe that we'll always have this weird relationship with food and need to find coping skills to rely on when times get tough. That's my take on things, anyway.

Grumpy Chair said...

I don't know how I missed that post by Hanlee, but will need to go back and read it.

I think you are doing great with all the walking and low-fat/low calorie cooking.