Tuesday, July 10, 2007


I decided to watch BIG LOVE instead of BIG MEDICINE last night... I needed the break from reality . Well today I am a little on edge. Steve had some tests last week.. and so far everything looks fine.. Today he sees the specialist to confirm that the lump is hormonally related and how to treat it. Last Tuesday was a relief when the radiology reports showed no signs of cancer. As you know Steve is a cancer survivor. I just want to get through today and make sure its all as the doctor's are saying so far. I tend to watch over Steve like a hawk.. I try not too.. I really do .. but when you have been down the road called cancer, your perspective on life changes dramatically. In much clearer terms you can define what is important and what is not important. I think that was the real basis of my post yesterday.. Here we are going through this waiting period.. and at the time my family had no clue what Steve and I were dealing with. So their shit became my shit and I gave it back to them so to speak. They have apoligized.. but it really does not matter... People tend to get caught up in the dumbest things and be hung up on the dumbest of issues.. they forget just how fragile things really are.. they take it all for granted thinking things will constantly stay the same.. Life is a force... it is constantly changing each second something new happens that we are not even aware of . It is an awesome force when you step back and look at it. Thing is .. often times we forget how to look at life and become wrapped up in the pettiness of silly issues.

Right now I am doing the deep breathing exercises one of our patients tought me.. She is such a cool woman. During the course of my weight loss she has given me many great tips the most important one was teaching me how to deep breath for relaxation and deep breath for rejuvination. When you concentrate on your posture and breathing it is amazing the difference it can make in just a few short minutes. I use the deep breathing relaxation method to help keep my blood pressure down and help control stress.. I have a hard time remembering to do this in the heat of the moment though and I am really trying to work at this... The rejuvination breathing really helps to pep you up... I know it sounds a bit hokey that just breathing differently can create these things but it really works.. right now it works better than the Celebrex I am taking for my back.
So today .. if you have a little extra time please say a little prayer that all is well with Steve.. So far EVERYTHING IS GREAT!!!!!.. which is what we want and need to hear...... I just want to get through this afternoon.. so both he and I can Breath in.. Breathe out and move on.

Wish me well
Wish you well too

1 comment:

TooFatToFly said...

Hi Honi,

I'm glad to hear that Steve's lump doesn't appear to be cancerous. I can certainly understand the anxiety you must have been feeling about it though! Especially seeing as he's had cancer before.

I really wish you both well and I shall say a prayer for you both ;-)

Sending some positive vibes you way...


Lins xx