A WHOLE MESS OF STUFF

With all the garbage in the world... senators having/soliciting gay sex in bathrooms.. ( okay sorry i f u are a fan of this guy.. but I laughed my butt off when I heard about that...sheesh..) horrible events in the news... bizarre weather all over the country and so forth... and then.. you have me..I rant about cakes.. and losing weight... and anything else that winds through my mind... does this make me frivolous? a butter head... ( as opposed to a fat head) ? a silly ninny ( that's another word I like.. ninny.. its just so silly ) ? I hope not... I hope.. I have something to contribute to the vast blogosphere out there....

Which brings me too this.... why on earth do folks post anonymously and then leave nasty messages regarding various posts... this happened to a sweet friend of mine.. Kellie at her blog.. http://myrambles.wordpress.com/ ... so dork face... ( yeah I know Kellie, in your comments .. dork face was not exactly what I said.... ) posted some really ugly babble about her... and her blog.. and it really made me angry... My deal.. if ya don't like what I write.. for heavens sake.. BUG THE FUCK OFF... don't read me... if you like or can relate to what I write.. by all means leave me a comment I love my comments....

Okay on to something else...

In October... I am doing something really cool or maybe it's really wrong?... Remember I told you that I started losing my weight with the Mayo Clinic Healthy Eating for Everyone program??? well i have been asked to give a motivational speech for one of the evening classes and it will be taped for one of the morning classes... I have to go tell these folks what motivates me to be successful in losing weight and I am not at my goal yet... does this make me a hypocrite ??... How can I motivate anyone when I still am trudging along.. yeah I know I have lost roughly 30 pounds.. but I still have 50 to go... and my weight loss has been stagnent this summer.. yeah I know I have been down in the back.. and had a bad foot infection etc... and I am still having back, neck and shoulder pain... I have another call into my the bone doctor too see if we can get some type of relief going for me.. I really like my doc ... he is a surgeon... and for a surgeon to say... you know.. we are not going to do anymore open back surgery on you... with the 3 herniations , he felt that surgery carries its own risks.. worse pain than I am in now.. and various other issues.. so we are trying other things... waiting to hear back from them... I probably will start going to a pain managment clinic.. which is good because they can do noninvasive things... and I can hopefully get some relief.. oh.. and for the record I am anti - pain meds... I don't believe in them.. they just make me fuzzy in the head.. and mask the pain.... I don't need a paint job.. I need relief... realistic relief... ( am aware the pain will never completely go away.. but there simply has to be a back off point.. i hope) .. okay enough of a pity party... as I was saying... is it right for me to give this lecture.. to discuss with these hopeful weight losers... what helps me... can I really be a role model for motivation... ??? I am not really sure... On the plus side... I have not gained anything back... I have maintained... on the minus side. I have not moved forward and lord knows.. I have a ton of poopdom to not create an environment of motivation.. BUT.. ironically I am motivated on the real hope that less weight will mean less back pain.... but what if i reach my goal and I am still in pain.. what then... does that mean I did not reach my personal goal.. NO PAIN or a LOT LESS PAIN??? no.. it means I lost my weight.. I got healthier than I am now.. and pain is relative... its there.. its a fact and I will have to handle it the best I can... perhaps that is more realistic... I really do not know... I do know I want to help motivate people to be successful... I do know I get great joy out of helping others.. its very selfish of me.. because it makes me so happy to know .. that if my actions can change just one person's life just a little for the good.. well. then I really have done not only for myself ... but for someone else.. and that is always good... still reading???? what do you think... is right for me to give a speech on motivation and weight loss... with out being at goal... what can I say to these folks... that in the summer I hit a wall because of pain.. but on the plus side I did not gain anything and on the plus side I am working hard to continue on my journey to better health... ??? should I say that... or say.. hey its all a crap shoot.. you may get some weight off.. you may not... .. you may reach goal.. you may not.. or is the truth .. simply that if you give something your all... and work on a system of constant change.. and adjusting then you can achieve anything.. it may not be with in a set time but in the long run you will be successful.. maybe thats it... Stay tuned for my success...
Have a rockin' good weekend!!! and labor day...
Wish me well
Wish you well too