Thursday, August 16, 2007


You could say were under a lot of stress dealing with the flight and your mom .. and the oddities of aging. stopping at the store in the airport.. mom complaining that she needed gum.. the airport does not sell gum... mom walking down the hallway with her purse wide open and me explaining that you just can not do that.. You could say.. well Honi you know your mom almost fell in the grave at the cemetery head first.. so its okay.... You could say.. yeah that was funny about your mom with the lipstick in her hair... You could say a lot of things.. to me.. fact is there was no excuse for the way I ate the last 2 days... fact is I should have had better self control fact is .. I did not. At the cemetery .. in the jewish faith one of most meaningful things you can do for someone who passes is help bury them.. you pick up the shovel usually backwards.. ( so it would not be a task of ease ) and scoop some dirt in... I kept telling my sister to watch mom... sure enough when mom was putting the dirt in the grave she tripped and
almost fell in head first.... thank god.. the woman that officiated was there and grabbed mom... she looked at me and said.. boy I almost had a heart attack ...last night we were in the kitchen and I noticed a lump in moms hair.. I was laughing cuz I thought .. she had chocolate cake in her hair.. there were tons of folks here night so that was believable.. only it was not cake.. i pulled a chunk of it out. I really got tickled because I honestly thought it was cake until I smelled it and realized it was lipstick ... well I lost it at the point and started laughing tears rolling down my face... .. so did my cousin... we tried to get the lipstick out and then mom had like a purple patch of hair ... we were hysterical.. laughing... finally mom was able to get it out... how the lipstick got in her hair is a mystery... and it was her lipstick because my cousin discovered a chunk missing out of her lipstick oy... we were laughing this morning about it.. bless my moms heart... I just watch these things that happen to her... I almost feel she wants to be old before her time.. with some of the things she does... other times it just makes me sad to watch things just change with her... memory.. being self assured.. physical stability... emotional stability... just makes me sad...
Though it was wonderful to see my cousins I prefer it be under better circumstances... we did a lot of remenising... and laughing... My aunt was the type that took no shit from anyone... for example.. when my cousin was being bar mitzvahed .. my aunt went to publix to pick up some pies.. the lady behind the counter at the bakery said.. You jews are all alike.. picky and wear too much jewelry... my aunt did not say a word.. she then asked for a pie .. a boston cream pie.. she wanted to look at it.. she had it in her hand.. looked at .. and then promptly smashed it into the womans behind the counters face.... The police was called my aunt fell apart when she realized what she did... truth be told.. she knew what she was doing.. in her own somewhat not subtle and yet most wonderful way... All she wanted was to make it to our wedding.. all she got.. was being buried in the dress she had planned to wear...
In our faith... we have a period of mourning called Shiva.. it means 7 .. as in 7 days of mourning excluding the sabbath and jewish holidays... .. initially... most folks do 3 days...depending on how religious you are.. SO last night before the Shiva service... the woman who had officiated at the funeral.. her name is Beth Schafer Beth Schafer - Uniting people of faith through music. talked about my aunt... my cousins had told her I am planning on walking down the aisle to one of her songs... she played it for me.. in front of all the folks from the synagogue who came to make a condolence call last night... it was amazing.. you can go to her website and hear the song if you would like.. its called Lev b Lev.. ( it means Heart to Heart) its primarily in english .. so listen to the words... ..

We got home this evening.. and it was fairly uneventful... a fairly large guy sat next to me in the plane I was between my mom and him.. and it was driving me nuts... he was pretty spread out and sleeping the whole way .. lucky my mom is little because I came close to sitting in her lap.. lol..

Well now I am home.. back in my routine..
Wish me well..
Wish you well too...


Kellie said...

Don't be hard on yourself for not eating as well as you'd like. It's okay to slip now and then. Beating yourself up for it isn't going to change anything and will only make you feel worse.

The lipstick? CRACKING me up!! Laughed out loud :)

Critter said...

Your aunt sounds like she was a wonderful women. I would love to have seen her throw that pie in that ladies face.