Friday, August 10, 2007


I have a very indifferent feeling right now.. I am waiting for the phone to ring with the news that my Aunt has passed away. 8 weeks ago she was diagnosed with cancer all over body 10 weeks ago she was a doting grandmother and worked in a business with her children. For everything we take for granted be reminded that in an instant it can all be taken away from you.. Most everything in our lives is beyond our control. Our lives... the one thing we think we have the ulitmate control over.. our bodies.. we really don't even have that. Sure we can control what we put in our bodies.. but we can not control what ultimately will happen to our bodies.. We really do not got to choose how we die. That is one of the quirks of life. You can be fine one second and poof.. gone the next.... Or you can linger .. not quiet ready to say goodbye... for some reason just holding on... and then you slip quietly away... I just wonder sometimes what the plan is.. why things fall as the do .. and why those we love have to suffer.. but I guess that is just one of those life questions with out an answer.. They say its just a matter of days now.. Hospice is back.. and the clock just sits there and ticks back and forth... Where is the comfort? the comfort is knowing that through medication she is no longer in pain.. For all we know.. my uncle is waiting to take her hand as she leaves us.. thats what I would like to think.. that she is with my uncle right now.. and might even see my dad soon... I would like to think it will be a peaceful transition for her.. Those of us here left with the suitcases full of grief.. and the tangible proof of life.. have the hard part.. I simpley do not know how my cousins are getting through each day... wondering when the last second will be that they have with their mother...
So my friends.. all I can say .. is love your family.. make sure they know it.. be thankful for all the goodness in life.. put the pettiness aside.. see people for what they really are not what you percieve them to be...and simply just be thankful for all of God's gifts.
Have a good weekend..
Food is good.. weight is good..
I walked on tuesday at the gym
and I have another infection in my foot.. oh JOY... other than that.. I plan to get back walking again.. even if I can not do a lot .. I am determined to do something...
Wish me well..
Wish you well too


Too Fat To Fly... said...

Oh dear, I feel for you and your family right now.

Death is NEVER easy to accept, though I do believe 100% that death isn't the end for us all...

Thinking of you!


Abi said...

I'm really sorry to hear about your aunt... I agree there are SO many questions I have for God... why this? why that? ... just WHY?

I know we will be surprised at the answers...

My prayers are with you.