Wednesday, February 21, 2007

But Still.....

The future depends on what we do in the present.Mahatma Gandhi

The reality of now is that we only have this one moment to decide what choices we are going to make. We can chose how to eat, We can chose wether or not to exercise. We can choose our attitude for the day as well.
Each smaller thing.. leads us to the bigger thing.. the bigger goal.

The Future depends on my attitude towards me and my self approval of my accomplishments.... I find my self getting dissapointed when I seek that infamous approval from my significant other. I keep wanting him to say Honi, You are doing a fantastic job. or you are heading in the right direction.. Instead I might get a pat on the belly and a this has to go comment... Or that look that says .. why is this not happening faster.. Personally, I am happy with myself .. and I guess that is what really matters.. I have lost 10.25 pounds since January 22 .. and I think that is pretty darn good. Yet still there is that part of me that turns to the person I love so much and that loves me... and all I want to hear is great job.. or I am proud of you.. NOW NOW.. don't get me wrong he is VERY UNDERSTANDING AND VERY SUPPORTIVE.. and I have dissapointed him so very much in the past by not taking care of myself.. I have let him and myself down in the worst ways by not getting myself healthier. It hinders so much when I am not healthy.. when I have a knee that won't behave correctly or severe ankle pain because my body is breaking down from being an obese person... thats the facts.. So I know what my past has been and I understand his rather reserved attitude. But Still... perhaps somewhere down the line when my body has changed more and he can see it more will he truely believe that I mean business this time. I suppose the reality is.. I am the one that has to have faith in myself.. I am the one that has to approve of me.... and I can not depend on others to supply that faith or approval for me. But Still....
Wish me well
Wish you well too..
Until Next time

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