Friday, August 1, 2008


It has been rough.. as every one knows.. its been painful and hard.. and rocky .. and tearful.. and sad.. being thrust into orphanhood at any age.. hurts.. yet most folks do not look at it that way.. after all I am a 45 year old adult.. so what if my folks are gone.. suck it up and move on.. that seems to be a common attitude .. but when it happens to you.. that is the farthest thing from your heart.. what you know is.. is that a part of you is gone forever.. that your parents.. have left the planet.. but remain in your heart.. that their time is over.. and your time is still here.. that that link.. that anchor no matter how difficult or shakey or strong.. is gone.. so you feel sad... and it seems to me its a sadness that never goes away.. maybe it quiets over time.. but death.. lingers.. not as if we want it to.. it is just there .. sort of following you.. My mom was lucky in a way... all of us were around her.. she had hugs and kisses and good wishes waiting on her.. and then the candle went out.. she was gone.. we should all be so lucky to be surrounded by love.. upon our exit.. but I have survived another week.. and I suppose I will keep surviving.. breathing a breath at a time.. trying to find me .. and trying to get me healthier as mom wished..
I found an interesting article on fruits and veggies eat more of them.. does a body good.!
Have a sweet weekend!
anyways wish me well..
Wish you well too


Lora said...

Honi...I truly understand how you feel. I lost my dad several weeks after I lost my mom and I was thrust into orphanhood all at once. I was 39. I remember my sister-in-law (who'd lost her parents) sent me a card and wrote on it "things will get better...but they will never be the same..." I never forgot that. Things never are the same. Yyou will always miss your parents. But it does stop hurting after a while. You're in the first phases now - the toughest for sure. Know that your are being lifted in prayer by many people. We are here for you.

Cammy said...

You're in a horrible situation right now, and I think you're doing amazingly well--trying to get on with life, while at the same time acknowledging the huge absence in your life. A friend of mine lost her husband recently and just the other day she said, "When am I going to get over this?" I told her, "You won't get over it, but you will get through it." So will you, Ms. Honi. It just takes time and faith.