THURSDAY THOUGHTS

What a smokin' title... geez.. just could not think what to put there.... not much going on..... Started playing with my blog again and decided to add videos to this blog like I have at my other one.. I am in the process of moving my videos from photobucket which for some reason is not doing as good as before to this new video/photo hosting site I found called DROPSHOTS... I liked this site better for now.. and I can put my videos here and leave my photos at Flickr.. I wish Flickr did videos as well.. oh well maybe one day... anyhow if u are bored and want to see some cute doggie videos then click on the video link under VIDEO MAYHEM and see some Cookie with her FLIPPYFLOP videos we did last night.. the quality is from my regular digital camera but its fairly decent... and besides Cookie looks adorable in any format :-) Eventually I will have our ride videos on there and some race videos too.. I might even do a couple video blogs.. not sure about that... but ya just never know with me.
I am a bit blue right now.. putting off calling my cousin to find out how my aunt is doing.. they were hoping to at least get a few months.. but ... well.... who knows.. it does not look good at all.. I keep asking one simple question for a woman who is a diabetic like my aunt is.. and who sees the doctor VERY OFTEN how did her cancer get to stage 4 with out any one knowing anything. You would think with all the blood tests.. and other tests she goes through regularly that they would have seen something... that they could have done something... to prevent or slow this down before it got to this stage.. her body is ravaged with cancer now, lungs, liver, and kidney. I just do not get it. Some folks say well.. they were not looking for cancer so they did not see it... well when i was in a car wreck in 1998 they were not looking for abnormal cell growth in my left femur but FOUND IT!! and it was something that my doctor still takes an xray of every year to make sure there are no changes...the bone specialist released me back to him a couple years ago and now my doctor says we will start backing off the yearly XRAYS... Maybe I am used to more thorough health care.. my doctor discovered Steve's prostate cancer and the urologist confirmed it. He was not looking for that either it was during a regular check up.Steve's first visit .. This doctor saved Steve's life... SO I just do not get this when someone sees their doctor far more than we see ours.. *We go 2 times a year unless we are sick.* ( right now I am going more often because he wants to monitor me as I lose weight.) That for my aunt nothng was discovered just makes me ache inside.... My mother who has heart issues and is facing another valve replacement surgery in the next couple years.. sees the doctor every 3 months.. and if he sees any change he runs tests... Seems to me that when a patient is diabetic you are on more high alert for problems. I dunno.. part of me is SOOO mad at her (my aunt's) doctors right now.. I just hurt inside because I just do not want her to hurt .. to feel pain.. to suffer all I can HOPE for now.. that she does not suffer... We do not see each other much ... I am closer to her kids.. I grew up with them. We have always stayed in touch and attended each others family events... I would see my aunt from time to time and just knowing that the last time I saw her was in November and then not realizing that she was probably sick at that point really is sad. Now she can't have many visitors other than her kids. It goes to show you .. you just never know what will happen in life.. I think thats why I am so determined to make this wedding a really nice and fun event for my family and friends... Life is so spectacularly fragile. .. we are not in control of much.. so I believe that in the good times we must shake them for all they are worth... lest they dissapear to fast. ... It is my deepest hope that my aunt is just given comfort right now... and maybe somewhere out there there is some miracle waiting to happen..or maybe not... but the wonderful thing about life is .. that until it ends.. there is always hope... and that is what I have .. Hope...
Wish me well..
Wish you well too..