Friday, July 18, 2008


(my mom thought no one would be there)
We are the ones left behind who have the difficult road. Our mom exited this world surrounded by most of the people she loved and who loved her. There were kisses and promises…. I love yous.. a special hand squeeze each of us knew. Only, at that time , we thought we were just saying good bye.. because she was going to have heart surgery to repair and replace tissue and then over time she was suppose to be fine.. She was suppose to be back with us.. She was suppose to be in this very room on Rosh Hashanah and stand up during the prayers for those having survived illness or accident for that year… She had plans.. and sometimes.. well.. sometimes things.. don’t exactly go as we have planned.
Over the last couple days Steve keeps telling me how much he enjoyed being with mom.. for the last 8 years not only was she a friend she was a mother to him… . I can tell you that mom felt exactly the same way about him.. he was her son. Both of my brother in laws , Harold and David.. though separated by miles felt the same connection with mom.
Steve would often tell me regardless of any challenges how much he just really enjoyed talking with her.. often times he was the one on the phone with her inviting her to spend the night and have brunch with us and go the flea market… Hardly a weekend went by especially after Dad’s death that she was not with us at some point.. be it for a dinner out on Friday night or a brunch on Sunday.. We knew how lonely mom felt .. and Steve and I hope that in some form.. we helped relieve some of that loneliness and darkeness for her.
Uncle Rhodes and I were talking about Mom and what a good and generous person she was. He spoke about how mom was so thoughtful and always called to remind him about his parents Yartziets so he would be sure to go to shul. He commented on how Mom loved the temple and would go to Minyan twice a week. Manon and Uncle Rhodes are very thankful for spending time with Mom during Jennifers graduation from pharmacy school. He talked about how proud mom was of her grand children and how dedicated she was to her family. Uncle Rhodes believes that Mom and Dad are together and watching over us all and wishing us good health and happiness.. I sure hope so….
I keep seeing Mom at Steve’s and my wedding.. I keep wishing I could go back to that moment.. even before the actual wedding when we were putting the hospitality bags together or picking out things.. or discussing things.. If I could just go back.. with her… Our wedding day…where this room was filled with joy instead of this sadness.. But being here is fitting.. .. right here so much of her life took place. From her youth .. to singing on this bimah.. to the consecrations, bat mitzvahs, comfirmations and to the marriages of 2 of her daughters. In this room she also mourned the loss of her parents, her brother ,her friends and husband her life today comes full circle here. ..
Today , we start saying goodbye to her physically… Our mom… . She loved musical theatre and performed in many local shows. Gifted with a beautiful voice she entertained many through out the years and sang at many weddings and bar mitzvahs..
But that was not all there was to Ruthie Mazer .
Ruthie Copeland met Sidney Mazer at young age and married him when she was 18 years old. That marriage produced 3 daughters, Susan , Davida and the one that was suppose to be the boy.. me Honi. Mom shared her musical love with us at a young age.. I was probably the only 4 year old that actually knew who Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Sergio Frankie were and preferred them to the current music of the time. Through out the years raising her girls. She performed in local theatre and many evenings as children for us were spent walking around the backstage area during rehearsals at the JCC during those years.
Mom loved her family . Her pride and joy Grandaughters, Jennifer, Ari and Hannah always knew how to make their Bubbe happy simply by just being around her.. and well.. Going shopping.. Mom loved to shop.. but I think she had more fun buying for others more so than buyng for herself.
Mom was a good heart.. though sometimes the words might have gotten lost in translation… her spirit and her soul… well let me tell you there was none finer. She was an amazing woman.. who wanted everyone to be happy . Before Moms surgery on Tuesday she said to us.. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEARTS.. so today I am passing that vital message along to you.. PLEASE take care of your HEARTS not only the one that beats with in .. but the one that beats around you.. those you love, your family and your friends.


Scale Junkie said...

Honi, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Your Eulogy was perfect and I know your Mom cherished every word. What a beautiful tribute to her life.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful! That's just lovely how you speak of her and I'm sure she knew how loved she was.

Ready to Shrink said...

Honi your words about your mother were/are beautiful. I am sure that she an your father are looking down on you with pride that they have such a wonderful, loving, and caring daughter.

Katschi said...

A very beautiful,loving tribute to your mom, Honi. I'm sure she feels the love.

Lora said...

What a loving tribute you gave, Honi. It must've been so get up there in front of all those people and speak those words. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman!

40 by 40 said...

That was so beautiful. She sounds like a most incredible person and you did her proud..with the eulogy and in life. She is with your dad now. You are very strong to have been able to write and read such a beautiful sentiment. The circle of life..such an amazing eulogy. I take your words to my heart..and my heart is feeling for you. {{hugs}}

Ann(ie) said...

Beautiful eulogy. I know she was there so proud of you on such a rough day. I just am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I hope you take solace in your beautiful memories and know that your folks are holding hands again. xoxo.

Lyn said...

Honi I am so sorry for your loss. Losing our mother is so deeply personal and tragic. Sending you hugs and hope for your comfort.

What a beautiful tribute. I am sure she is very proud of you.

Christy said...

That was beautiful.

Fat Grl Slim said...

My condolences Honi. Your mom must have been an amazing woman to have produced such a strong and beautiful daughter.

Thinking of you.

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Oh, Honi. I hadn't been by and didn't see that you had gone through this most sorrowful of milestones.

I still ache daily for my Mami, who died in 2004. The hole is permanent. But God is good, and he'll let us see our beloved ones again in The Day.

Blessings to you and your family. Your mom will always bless your life and memories and her love will always follow you. I know. I feel my mom's love and prayers to this day, keeping watch on me.

I'm so, so sorry. But aren't loving mom's just the best? How fortunate we are.

The Princess

Anonymous said...

Please accept my condolences for the loss of you Mother.

"One generation plants the trees, the next enjoys the shade."