FAMILY FROM OUR WEDDING

Monday, February 4, 2008

WHO WILL YOU BE?

Who will you be?
So you are looking in the mirror once again casting a critical eye on what you see..,. Starting at the top... you can see smatterings of grey .. or perhaps more than smatterings... there are lines on your forehead that now have cousins lazily outlining your eyes.. your brows might need a pluck or two or a really good wax.. perhaps your entire face could use a clean up.. your neck is freckled where pale skin in winter used to reside.. and golden skin in summer glowed down your chest.. boobs don't sit where they used too.. and of course your entire body has never been what you really meant it to be.. the lumps and bumps and rolls and curves and lines of the person you .. YOU... this is your road map....it is your road map of what you have done and where you have been.. your body is always journaling you...

Or perhaps your skin still glows with that youthful fluidity... your hair rich in color caressess the flawless face .. no lines on your skin yet.. but deep down you know they will one day make their apperance .. for how can you say you have lived with out laugh lines to mark their territory...You wonder how you got to be the size you are ... and why can't you just lose the weight.. young woman.. when you are well passed your thirties.. you might be asking yourself the same thing.. the questions are always the same.. You want to wear that short skirt .. those high fashion pants with the spike healed shoes.. you want him to notice you.. not because you are a really swell friend but because you are a living breathing woman.. who meets the standards of attractiveness this world has demanded from us. but in the mirror there you are.. fleshy and filled out.. why am I still in this body.. you ask... so does your over 40 counterpart... only age rides with her.. youth still surrounds you...and youth is turning into to wisdom for her... You think about starvation.. you think about the binges... you think about the freedom of eating what ever you want... you think about the yelling in your head .. screaming at you for every imperfection that makes you whole... you think about the pounds and the ounces as you watch the scale teeter totter back and forth.. Who will you be?
Will you be a food whore.. and give in to eating more than you need.. ? Will you be a warrior and find a new way? Will you be the one that continues to change and can adapt to life changes while being fair with yourself? Will you think its far easier to grab those fries, eat those cookies , slice a wedge of cake and surpress how you feel? This is your choice.. it knows no age... it knows no skin color... it only has has much power over you as you give it.. WILL You be brave no matter what your age.. Will you be honest with yourself... at all costs... WILL YOU SET YOURSELF FREE.. by making the right choices...
WHO WILL YOU BE?

7 comments:

Hanlie said...

Excellent post! I love it! All of it! Thank you! You made me realize a few things with this post.

A Lighter Life... said...

Thanks you for that post, Honi...

I think that I REALLY needed to read that right now :-)

Have a great week my friend.

Hugs,

LL x

cadbury_vw said...

well said

i didn't eat much yesterday, and as i thought about whether to have that slice of sourdough bread, or even another bowl of salad (no dressing, of course) i asked whether i really wanted to eat (sort of - but i also wanted the taste of the sourdough), whether i really needed to eat (a little hungry, but not really), or whether i was becoming to focused on what i was eating or not...

and still looked in the mirror at my gut. at the extra flesh under my jaw and on my neck

----

thank-you for the validation of your post

we can all support each other as we work through all of this

Scale Junkie said...

Excellent post Honi. Thank you for this, I really needed these words today.

Lora said...

When I first started reading I thought you were looking at me! I so identified with that first body you were describing! I choose to be a warrior and win this time! Excellent post :-)

Lynn said...

Honi, your posts are always amazing, inspiring and thought-provoking.

I will be me...its taking awhile but I'm slowing getting there. :)

dietbook said...

This brought me to tears...what a wonderful post. Thank you so much...and after too many years of being the food whore, I am choosing to be the warrior! But some days I still need a reminder about that. :-)

Valerie