FORGET FLOWERS FOR NOW.. I AM ON A HUNT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO DECIDE ON THE DESIGN OF SWIM SUITS FOR FAT CHICKS

C'mon ladies... saddle up, line up.. and come with me as I find these MORONS who decide on the designs of swim suits for large size women .........WHAT PRAY TO GOD ARE THEY THINKING????? sure put the boy shorts and tankini on the fat chick... ya that works... her bowl full of jelly tummy peaking through no problem... her wobbly butt hanging out of the boy shorts.. wow now thats a pretty picture.. When I was over 200 pounds I had a far easier time finding a swim suit.. your standard issue old ladies swim suit with a skirt and regular straps none of this tie together halter bullshit!>.. here I am nearly 30 pounds thinner and I can NOT find a SWIM SUIT.. what in the hell is wrong with this picture??? Shouldn't it be easier to find something... And to my Target friends.. WHOA!! what are they thinking there ,.. there was absolutely no reasonable . and what happened to the good old skirted bathing suit that in some cases is fairly attractive albeit somewhat old ladyish ... I realize I have a long way to go .. but for heavens sake DESIGNERS OUT THERE consider your consumers body. I was chatting with several women in Target today who were facing the same dilemma as me.. finding a swim suit . They each had their own personal complaints one woman has a long torso and is larger in her thigh area.. since her torso is long it makes a tankini nearly impossible because they are too short in the top for her...and if she does wear one, her belly spills out...and as she said why show off her worse assets... For heavens sakes .. I know there is not much you can do with a bathing suit... I do appreciate that.. but there has to be something out there that is reasonably priced and can work for me with out costing 100.00 bucks... Finding a size 20W is far easier than finding a 16 regular or a 14 W. They have been next to impossible to find with out costing over 70.00 dollars... Man I think I know my calling.. I am going to design real clothes for real woman of varying heights and weight and be realistic... not this junk they have out there... It made me feel good almost that other women were struggling like me today... trying to match tops and bottoms and cover certain parts of their anatomy at the same time was nearly impossible to achieve.. I gave up.. will go back hunting again tomorrow.. any ideas.. will be much appreciated... Oh and as far as the flowers go.. 1,500 over budget.. TRIMMING THAT WAY DOWN AS I TYPE THIS ... I was talked into flowers for the centerpieces.. and I am REALLLLLLLLLLLLY going to have to cut way back on all of that.. I about fell over when I read the quote.. now here is what gets me .. I must have said 10 times .. what my budget was... (you can tell I was really heard.. good thing is .. is that this is doable and trimable too... ) so my friends.. wish me well..
Wish you well too....

1 WEDDING CAKE DOWN AND FLORALS TO GO

Well the wedding cake is picked out... if you scroll down to the post about wedding cakes u will see a picture of the cake I wanted but said I would not get .. we made a decision on another style and then Steve saw the one I really wanted and we were able to get it.. We went a tiny bit over budget.. but it will be beautiful.. now the cake will not be blue as pictured.. it will be champagne colored.. with white fondet stripes.. sort of a tone on tone thing... then the flowers will be fall colors .. the cake will be chocolate with ganoche ( not sure how to spell that) in the center of each layer... the icing will be butter cream with fondent decoration. I think it will be elegant.. I also have to get a few sweet trays out there.. since sometimes folks do not want cake... otherwise that is all settled YAY!!!!!.. In a little bit we go do the floral stuff and figure out the center piece logistics and all.. SO I will post about that later on. Otherwise things are well.. I did taste the cakes.. and I knew right away exactly what I wanted.. so there really was no deciding what the cake itself would be..
All in all handling all this excitement well... my hair is getting grayer though.. oh well... what can u do... Also .. for you Target fans.. I am going to Target this afternoon to get my swim suit.. .will let u know how that goes too..
Wish me well.
Wish you well too...

MORE GAB BEFORE I GO

I forgot to mention in my last post.... We got the jars of honey and they look so cute just great.. and the bubbles came in too and Steve had an awesome idea .. we are going to make labels with what we want on them and stick them on the bubble bottles.. YAY.. its going to be great..
Hope Everyone has a great weekend !!!
Wish me well
Wish you well too...

Ahhhh FRIDAY

Well the work week is wrapping up and the weekend is getting ready to simmer. Listening to a mild thunderstorm outside.. as the work day winds down for me.. still have about 2 more hours before I head out .. its a quiet afternoon... Every now and then its nice to have a quiet afternoon. I saw the cutest puppy last night.. My niece is here in town for the next month doing her internship at a local pharmacy.. ( she is going to be a pharmacist) She and her boyfriend drove in last night and they brought her puppy Chloe with them. Chloe is a Malteyork and she is a cutie.. all 2 pounds of her black and white fluff. She is very playful and is about 14 weeks old now.. going to see her again this evening.. I gotta get me one of those... Eating is going well... I hope each of you has had a good week and that the goals you have set for yourself this week have been met. I am going to do wedding stuff in the early am tomorrow and tomorrow afternoon and then somewhere along the way I am going to get a new swimsuit.. everyone keeps telling me to go Target to find a suit.. so I am planning on that tomorrow . .... You can add my brother in law to that prayer list by the way... he was put in the hospital yesterday and is being transfered to a bigger hospital today. He has a Staph infection in his lip of all places. They have him on steriods, benadryl and intravenious antibiotics.. and oral antibiotics.. hopefully he will be back to his old self soon.. I know my niece is worried about her dad and even thought about going back home.. but her folks encouraged her to stay here and work on her internship and should her dad* my BL*, need surgery she can go home then.. I sure hope he will get over this.. seems when it rains it pours here.. Tuesday Steve goes for some tests.. say a little prayer there too.. Everything should be fine.. I always get a little nervous whenever he has to have tests.. thats just me. I talked with my cousin yesterday and they have moved my aunt home with a hosptial bed and Hospice to care for her. So I ask myself do I lose hope now?? well we all know when hospice is involved things are not good.. You just sort of have to deal with things as they come.. the doctors said it could be 2 days, 2 weeks , 2 months.. they did not know. I had a interesting conversation with my cousin last night and then with my nieces BF.. my cousin said.. Honi , can you believe 2 weeks ago she was driving and changing her grandsons diapers and feeding him and working... and now this??? its so overwhelming... later on I talked to my nieces BF and he is in medical school.. and what he said stayed with me.. he said you know.. what if they had found this 6 months ago... she would have been on radiation therapy and chemo and probably had no quality of life for the last six months .. even though this is so horrible and sad... at least the last 6 months she has had with out too much difficulty... Steve agreed with him.. and I had too as well. I think thats when I came to better terms with the inevitable. For now all they can do is just keep her comfortable.. and to me.. thats a good thing.. They want me to focus on the happy stuff going on.. but I can only seem to focus on what is going on there... and whats going on for my brother in law.. and am concerned about Steve.. I am fairly confident that Steve's tests should be fine. but I can 't help my self from just saying a little extra prayer for him... I Just want them to all feel well and I hate seeing the people I love suffer to any degree. Oh well just like anyone else I suppose...
Well the storm outside is getting worse... so I guess I will wrap this up for today..
Wish me well
Wish you well too...

THURSDAY THOUGHTS

What a smokin' title... geez.. just could not think what to put there.... not much going on..... Started playing with my blog again and decided to add videos to this blog like I have at my other one.. I am in the process of moving my videos from photobucket which for some reason is not doing as good as before to this new video/photo hosting site I found called DROPSHOTS... I liked this site better for now.. and I can put my videos here and leave my photos at Flickr.. I wish Flickr did videos as well.. oh well maybe one day... anyhow if u are bored and want to see some cute doggie videos then click on the video link under VIDEO MAYHEM and see some Cookie with her FLIPPYFLOP videos we did last night.. the quality is from my regular digital camera but its fairly decent... and besides Cookie looks adorable in any format :-) Eventually I will have our ride videos on there and some race videos too.. I might even do a couple video blogs.. not sure about that... but ya just never know with me.
I am a bit blue right now.. putting off calling my cousin to find out how my aunt is doing.. they were hoping to at least get a few months.. but ... well.... who knows.. it does not look good at all.. I keep asking one simple question for a woman who is a diabetic like my aunt is.. and who sees the doctor VERY OFTEN how did her cancer get to stage 4 with out any one knowing anything. You would think with all the blood tests.. and other tests she goes through regularly that they would have seen something... that they could have done something... to prevent or slow this down before it got to this stage.. her body is ravaged with cancer now, lungs, liver, and kidney. I just do not get it. Some folks say well.. they were not looking for cancer so they did not see it... well when i was in a car wreck in 1998 they were not looking for abnormal cell growth in my left femur but FOUND IT!! and it was something that my doctor still takes an xray of every year to make sure there are no changes...the bone specialist released me back to him a couple years ago and now my doctor says we will start backing off the yearly XRAYS... Maybe I am used to more thorough health care.. my doctor discovered Steve's prostate cancer and the urologist confirmed it. He was not looking for that either it was during a regular check up.Steve's first visit .. This doctor saved Steve's life... SO I just do not get this when someone sees their doctor far more than we see ours.. *We go 2 times a year unless we are sick.* ( right now I am going more often because he wants to monitor me as I lose weight.) That for my aunt nothng was discovered just makes me ache inside.... My mother who has heart issues and is facing another valve replacement surgery in the next couple years.. sees the doctor every 3 months.. and if he sees any change he runs tests... Seems to me that when a patient is diabetic you are on more high alert for problems. I dunno.. part of me is SOOO mad at her (my aunt's) doctors right now.. I just hurt inside because I just do not want her to hurt .. to feel pain.. to suffer all I can HOPE for now.. that she does not suffer... We do not see each other much ... I am closer to her kids.. I grew up with them. We have always stayed in touch and attended each others family events... I would see my aunt from time to time and just knowing that the last time I saw her was in November and then not realizing that she was probably sick at that point really is sad. Now she can't have many visitors other than her kids. It goes to show you .. you just never know what will happen in life.. I think thats why I am so determined to make this wedding a really nice and fun event for my family and friends... Life is so spectacularly fragile. .. we are not in control of much.. so I believe that in the good times we must shake them for all they are worth... lest they dissapear to fast. ... It is my deepest hope that my aunt is just given comfort right now... and maybe somewhere out there there is some miracle waiting to happen..or maybe not... but the wonderful thing about life is .. that until it ends.. there is always hope... and that is what I have .. Hope...
Wish me well..
Wish you well too..

WHAT DOES NO REALLY MEAN

First... I had a great visit with my nutritionist Donna... that was Monday night.. everything is going well with my eating.. its the water and the exercise that I must develop now. Trying.. trying hard.. I made an appointment with the doctor for my shoulder finally.. Donna pinned me down to making some commitments... i.e. doctor visit, I also promised I would get a new bathing suit this weekend so I could start swimming again 2 times a week. That would start this Monday.. WISH ME TONS OF LUCK WITH THIS.. this will be a huge turning point... I just need to accomplish it.

Wedding update: Got Invitiations and they look splendid, Getting stamps, having cake tasting and floral meeting this Saturday.. which brings me to my Next Topic,

WHAT DOES NO REALLY MEAN!!!

Okay .. in my universe no means simply NO.. two letters fitting together that mean.. will not do, do not do.. do not want.. have made a definative decision that whatever it is is not needed. not interested, does not like or want. NO NO NO!!!! so ... well.... NO MEANS NO...

hmmm... apparently some where in those 2 letter.. something gets lost... I say NO but No is not heard.. maybe they think I am saying YES in some strange language. Maybe no means yes in another country. I say No and they hear maybe... I say No and they hear.. OHH OF COURSE DONT LISTEN TO ME FOR I AM CLUELESS AND HAVE NO THOUGHT PROCESSES. I AM JUST SAYING NO BECAUSE I LIKE THE SOUND... I REALLY DO NOT MEAN NO... I JUST LIKE SAYING IT FOR EFFECT!..... what in the hell are people hearing when I say NO!!!

Case in point: I DO NOT WANT TO CARRY A BOUQUET down the aisle.. I just don't bottom line... NO NO NO!!.. ohh but you really should carry a small bouquet... I have just said NO ten thousand billion times.. where does that word get lost in translation.. is it between the N and the O.. ?????? what in the hell.. is coming out of my mouth when I put those 2 letters together.. am I saying ON...???? I don't think so... I am saying No... such a missunderstood word. I can bend on things..that I really do not care about... I am not really worried about a luncheon for 90 people after services on Saturday.. there are tons of places to eat right by the hotel.. everything from TGI Fridays, to Cracker Barrel, to Edgars Bakery.. to all the fine eateries located at another shopping strip up the road. FOOD IS within a half a mile .. not to mention all the food in the hospitality room.. SO I don't really care about that.. HOWEVER I do care about what I am carrying down the aisle... damn it.. LOL.. this is the only place I really get to express myself folks.. I can say for the most part how I feel and no one is translating my words into other words that I really never said.. Ya know what I am saying.... NO means NO.. right??? yes??? maybe??? someone come and sit with me when I go to the florist on Saturday... My mom keeps reminding me about the budget yet when I tell her they might say at the florist that there is a 3500 dollar minium she flinches and then says.. well okay.. I HAVE A 2000 or less budget for Floral and accessories for the wedding... so I explain to my mom.. we will tell them what our budget is .. if they can not accomodate us then we move on... simple.. involves a NO sorry we can not do this it is out of our budget!!!! mom has a hard time with budgets.. when I have a budget I wring every penny out of it.. but I do not go over the amount.. ... so.. we shall see how Saturday turns out when I am sitting there .... they are trying hard to talk me out of what I want to do with the center pieces and I did make one concession with it.. I dont want the papers to get ruined that people sign.. ( you know with food stains or something that might spill) so I have decided to have 2 small tables off to the side where folk can come and answer the question there.. I hope that works.. I still have the center piece letter ( telling folks about the question and where to go to write their answers...) raised up on a cube of some sort.. I was thinking lucite and maybe put lights ( like christmas lights (white) in each cube) I thought that would like kinda neat.. or some kind of metalic fall colored paper in the cube.. I dunno.. just thinking out loud I suppose...I HATE BUDGETS!! whew.. getting exhausted from thinking right now... as I said.. Saturday will be an interesting day of wedding events.. from tasting the cake to picking out the stamps.. ( I am having a chocolate wedding cake.. not sure how the outside will be.. but the inside has to be chocolate.. BECAUSE I SAID SO.. lol... this is a photo of one of the cakes I am interested in.. would change the blue to a champagne color... what do u think???

hmm I like it .. its different... it probably will end up being something else... am on a budget with the cake and I think this one might be out of the budget.. but I sure do like this one... if you want to check out more of their cakes here is the link :http://www.edgarsbakery.com/wedding/WeddingT.html

Well my friends.. that is that for Wednesday..

Wish me well...Wish you well too..

TAG I AM IT.. Thank you"S"

I got tagged.. so here it is:

WHAT WERE YOU DOING TEN YEARS AGO?

In a job I hated.. hoping to get fired, too chicken to quit.. realzing that even through hard times I could survive..

SONGS TO WHICH YOU KNOW ALL THE LYRICS:

1: To Dream the Impossible Dream
2: Rock and Roll all Night
3:New York
4:Sunrise Sunset
5:Leaving on a Jet Plane

FIVE THINGS YOU WOULD DO IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE:
1: Pay off all debt
2: Buy a new car and pay for it in cash ... just because ... well I could lol...
3: Go on a very long vacation with soon to be husband
4: Give back to those who have given to me..
5: Donate to my temple

FIVE BAD HABITS:
1:Overeating when I get stressed.. still mastering how to avoid that
2:Interupting folks when I get anxious
3: Using a little too much colorful language
4:Not caring enough about myself
5:Biting my nails when I don't wear Gel Nails.

THINGS YOU LIKE DOING:
Spending time with my soon to be husband
Traveling on the motorcycle together
Swimming
Being with family
Being with Friends
Cooking

FIVE THINGS YOU'LL NEVER WEAR AGAIN:
My Bluebird uniform ( have not worn that since second grade lol)
My old bathing suits (TOO BIG YAY)
Size 20/18W
Anything itchy
Panty hose if I can help it

FIVE FAVORITE TOYS:
1 My IPOD
2: My PC
3: My frisbee ( playing with my dogs Cookie and Baz)
4: My Music
5: My Cell Phone

So...TAG! You're it. If you decide to answer the questions, drop me a comment and let me know, so I can come visit and learn something new about you.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. The Pursuit of Healthyness

2 Minx, Redux

3The Journey of a Thousand Miles

4. Less Flab - More Fab

5. Healthy Honi

"Next select some people to tag:"

1.Icecream Mama

2.Budda Girl

3.Coco

4:Grumpy Chair

5:Lindsey

MONDAY MEANDERINGS

1: TUESDAY EVENING
abc.go.com/primetime/shaqsbigchallenge/index?pn=index

be sure and check this show out Shaq's Big Challenge.

2: While at first I thought it was a bit explotive of our obese children I think Shaq is coming from the heart with this.. and hopefully it will help motivate folks to start moving now.

3: Exercise is the hardest thing for me. SO I just keep trying.

4: Weight loss is dragging a bit.. time for tweaks.

5: Losing about a pound a week now

6: Stats:
Starting weight: 211.5
Current weight: 182.8
Goal weight: 132
Feeling: GROOVY

7: Water and Exercise the two areas I really need to concentrate on.. I must develope skills to make these become habits... any ideas... I really need help in these areas.. they are my weakest links on this journey.
Seeing nutritionist tonight.. will get some good invigeration and motivation.. that always helps...

8: Friends are getting ready to have a really neat party for me for the upcoming wedding.. I am not really a shower person or one that likes surprises that much.. So one of my friends came up with a rocking great idea of a party at one of those Paint your own ceramics places... My friends and family will do a platter for me and then a piece for themselves I am going to do one for myself as well... I am planning on a little treat that night .. There is a cake I absolutely love... but never have... its a carmel cake made my this confection place that is divine.. if you were to ask me what is something I would induldge in .. a small slice of that would do nicely.. so I am planning what I am going to eat that day so I can work that slice of cake in my program...

9: I am also going back to logging my food daily.. I kinda feel like Linus with out his security blanket lol.. I do know I need to eventually back off of that.. I had a trip up this weekend... I was under a lot of stress and there was chocolate cake in the house.. I was uptight and like a magnet to metal.. I grabbed a slice of that cake and ate it before I realized it.. luckily I did not eat the whole thing and threw part of the slice out... But I swear it was such an automatic response to stress... Why on earth did I do that.. I have not done that since January... Any ideas... I will say it involved some general stress a bit more than I have had lately regarding the wedding. I think Steve is worried I am going to turn into a Bridezilla.. lol ( I love that show it is so funny and pathetic at the same time lol) at my age of nearly 45.. I want to skip a lot of the traditional who ha.. and do things my way.. I have always marched to a different drummer and as always it has stressed my mother to no ends and apparently I am doing that to her with this wedding..

Now let me explain myself and please tell me if you think I am being difficult... I do not want to carry a bouquet of flowers.. ( they make my hands itch and I am not having a wedding party so there is no one to hand the flowers to when I need to participate in the service.)
I do not want to wear a garter.. ANNOYING and it will slide down my fat thigh and land on my ankle and I dont need that risk of embarrassment.. ( call me silly) don't want the hassle.

I want to wear my hair off my face but down... with the tiara both my aunt and my mother want me to wear it up in a bun with a veil behind the bun..plus the tiara.. for heavens sake I do not want all the fluff. I am a fluffy enough person with out extra stuff on me.

We want a swing band that can play all types of music .. No Motown like most of the weddings we see here.. ( I GOT MY WAY ON THAT YAY) just something a little different..

I do not want traditional flower centerpieces.. ( WASTE OF MONEY and they die) I created my own centerpieces and they are interactive... will be pretty paper with a question ( WHAT MAKES A GOOD MARRIAGE) ( i did this in an email and got some phenominal replies) people at the tables answer this question.. at the end of the day the papers are collected and placed in a keep sake book with the emails recieved earlier... a special memento for Steve and I .

I want to make my own favors for my guests... am using plantable paper..( it is seeded paper that you can plant) with thank you notes attatched ( you know something like thank you for being part of our wedding weekend.. etc.. not sure of wording just yet) these will be at each place setting... again something a little unique... The older generation for the most part thinks my ideas are bizzare and too different.. and that we need flowers at the tables... NOPE NOPE NOPE .. what do you guys think.. am I really being difficult ???

I guess I am one that likes doing things with my own flair.. people forget cakes and centerpieces.. why not give them something to remember ... oh well... just meandering along on a Monday....

Wish me well..
Wish you well too