THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO ARGHH and other ramblings of my disordered mind

My new pc came in Saturday.. Vista is the devil's advocate if you believe in the devil.. no seriously.. it is... okay .. maybe not.. but it is loaded with tricks and no drivers... okay it has a few drivers but none you really need.. Ok u might need them.. but the ones you really need are out there on the internet.. and the only way you can connect through the internet is via your wireless router... but you can not get on the internet because you do not have the damn drivers.. to connect the wireless internet .. what the hell is wrong with this picture !!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHh.. so I went in Steves office and a friend emailed me the drivers I would need.. for the card.. so I copy the files onto a disk.. and for some reason my new pc is like.. HUH??? what do you want me to do with that.. ??/ You must be kidding...I AM THE DEVIL OF THE PC .. YOU MAY CALL ME VISTA.. OR MS. VISTA IF YOU PREFER.. AND I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT YOU TRY AND LOAD ON ME I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ANYTHING THAT MIGHT MAKE YOUR DAY A LITTLE SWEETER HA!!!! heh he.. uhm.. sorry .. sometimes I tend to get a little dramatic sorry.... my pc is sitting lifeless in the closet.. ( yes.. I blog out of my closet.. I have a big closet with a table and chair and my pc.. etc.... so if you come to my house and can't find me check the closet) well its not lifeless I can do things off line and I am learning how Vista works.. Steve said he is going to get his son to come over and fix everything up... his son installed the orginal wireless on the old pc so hopeful he can help us with this one... I want to be able to put all my music back on my pc... I want to load Itunes back on the pc... I want to create a DVD presentation for the wedding.. but I need the damn internet to run all the programs I need for heavens sake.. ARRRGGGGHH!!!..

Food has been good this weekend.. but today I cracked.. I did not eat bad or anything I just was realllllllly down this afternoon.. Steve and I had worked in the yard mulching the beds.. we still have 2 more to do.. trying to make things look pretty for when everyone comes to town and comes to visit.. we created to beautiful pots with the big cabbages and colorful pansies.. for the front porch area.. Sadly I can't show u anything because guess what????? I need those F%$#%$ drivers to set up my camera with VISTA... sheesh... I miss XP but Vista is the wave of the future if you have a pc, so I am trying to suck it up and be a brave pc warrior... sheesh...
Anyhow I started thinking about things.. and you know how your mind starts going a mile a minute... and you are not sure what to handle first???... thats how I felt this afternoon.. More than any thing I just want everyone to have a great time when they come in for the wedding... I want Steve's kids to enjoy themselves.. and Steve's siblings to enjoy themselves as well.. I have met both of Steve's brothers and they are very sweet.. but I have yet to meet his sister.. our wedding will be our first meeting.. I hope I don't dissapoint anyone.. all I want from that weekend aside from being married.. is that everyone leave having had a great time with sweet memories... those are things I worry about.. I know my family will enjoy themselves... then I started thinking about other things.. one of which I will do a post on this coming Friday... This coming Friday to the day will be 6 years since my dad has been gone.. he was killed in an auto accident .. my mom was with him and she survived.. but not the old mom .. she came out of it a different person.. So in a sense I lost both of my parents.. My mom is fine.. mentally she did not have a head injury or anything... I just mean that well she lost her husband of nearly 50 years.. she grew up with my dad.. she was 18 when she got married.. and now she is still adapting and not very well to a new life.. a life that is so different for her.. that sometimes I think she is asleep and I think she sometimes thinks that one day she will wake up and Dad will be back.. its hard and its sad.. In the jewish faith we have a memorial for the deceased every year.. it is called a Yartziet.. (anniversary of the loved one's death) you can go to temple and there is a special blessing you say.. its a blessing for the living.. Saturday I went with my mom to services for the evening service that would be when they said my dad's name along with many others that have left this world.. and it dawned on me I was tired of being sad... I just was not sad anymore... I still miss him more than anything.. but I am tired of the darkness around his memory.. the mourning I am tired of mourning him... he deserves to be celebrated and thats what my post on Friday will be about.. hopefully if I am up and running I will be able to scan and post a picture of my dad.. My dad loved a good party.. ( usually one he was throwing.. he threw an annual new years day party for about 20 years.. and folks loved them) It gets a little difficult for me when I start thinking that a week later I will be getting married. It gets hard for me a little when I think about the fact that he will not be here to walk me down the aisle or dance the traditional father daughter dance.. .. or make some lovely speech.. and boy do I know we would have had one hell of party... I think thats another reason i have worked so hard on this wedding .. all the details.. the food.. ( my daddy loved good food) ... I know in my heart I will be doing my dad proud.. and myself proud as well.. .. well I will post more about that this Friday...
In other news.. How does one decide what to call themselves after they get married.. ???
Should I be .. Honi middle name his last name... should I be Honi my last name , his last name or should I be Honi middle name my last name his last name... ( I am not doing the hyphenated thing I know that) What name do I drop??.. or do I have to drop any name when signing official documents???.. how do women decide that... okay I know thats a pretty shallow question but never the less its something I have to figure out... sigh...
I was really happy today working outside with Steve it was fun.. and not near as frustrating as trying to figure out that damn pc...
the weather was perfect.. and I will sometime soon post pictures of all our hard work... Day lights savings time has thrown me off a bit.. I am beat and its only 7 37 pm.. (YAWN.. scuse me) ..I just drank a cup of coffee.. ( i put in hazelnut liquid sugarless flavoring ( it has splenda in it)and some light powdered creamer... IT WAS SOO GOOD but that is failing to keep me alert... so my friends for tonight... ( hopefully soon I will posting yet again out of the closet)
WISH ME WELL
WISH YOU WELL TOO...