A TALE OF THREE HONIS

The Common sense Honi saw her nutritionist Monday night.. Honi listened as her nutrionist told her you know.. 5 small meals a day.. smaller servings.. not eating late... and in Honi own thoughts she knew she could not eat like she had before... She could still have a fun Anniversary on Tuesday night..but she needed to let common sense be the leader. However Crisis ensued because Honi in her own warped wisdom decided FUCK EVERYTHING.. I am going to eat anything I want... to which she inhaled two thick lamb chops ( not that thick but normally thicker than she would have and usually she would only have ONE) a large amount of Lesur Green peas ( she has loved those since she was a little girl she reasoned) and real homemade mashed potatos prepared lovingly by her her wonderful husband. She got home the kitchen was candle lit.. and the Common Sense Honi apparently took a vacation while the Glutton Honi replaced her... oh and did I forget to mention the hot chocolate ( yes it was fat free and everything but that should have been dessert not a before dinner drink) and then we DID IT... ( NO NOT THAT PEOPLE .) WE opened our wedding cake top .. and proceeded to share a RICH delicate and believe it or not Still devine slice of cake a year later.... the icing I left off it was not that good.. but the cake was perfect .. it tasted like the day we got married.. no joke.. I could not believe it... Steve had bought a back up dessert from Fresh market had the cake not been good.. SO you ask me did you eat that too? 1 bite.. it is going back to the store today Steve bit into it and bit into a round piece of plastic... so that quieted the gluttonous one down... Little did she know what her body had planned for 2 hours later...
We watched tv.. talked .. relaxed... went to bed ( I took my adivan as usual for the past 3 weeks) and thats when the rath of hell showed up.. I knew something was wrong with me.. I had felt overly full and uncomfortable .. the first visit to the throne of YouATE TOO MUCH commenced, then the second visit , third visit.. and so forth .. each visit being worse than the one before.. ( TRYING HARD NOT TO BE TOO DISCRIPTIVE sorry if I offend) The final visit last 45 minutes... and midway ended with me SCREAMING FOR STEVE... Apparently I decided in my adivan haze that I needed to toss my cookies.. only when I stood up.. I FELL THANK GOD AGAINST THE WALL DOWN TO the cold ceramic tile floor and FAINTED.. In our master bedroom the toilet is behind the bathroom entrance door.. its a Small water closet .. and is often mistaken for a CLOSET... a lot of people think our bathroom has no toilet in it lol... so the toilet area is very small.. you could not fall over unless the door was open .. It could have been much worse.. instead of landing sitting up and slumping I could have fallen out and smacked my head on the the tub or something.. I scared my poor husand to death..this all took place in a matter of seconds.. ( but to my mind it felt like forever) my mouth was totally dry .. no saliva at all which made it hard for me talk.. Steve brought me a small cup of Ginger ale and just sat with me on the floor for a long time... I asked him to go get back in bed because I was about to get sick again.. the very last time was bad.. but I was able to walk back to bed... Oh by then Common sense Honi came back and berated the hell out of Gluttonous Honi.. who bargained as usual with God the whole time... Common Sense Honi wondered if this is what it finally took for Gluttonous Honi to realize that she has too go away and can never come back.. that her risk to Healthy Honi is far too dangerous... yep.. far too dangerous... Common Sense Honi and Healthy Honi sent Gluttonous Honi packing this morning at 5 am... banished from her body.. gone forever... today consists of saltine crackers , jello, ginger ale.. and maybe toast and a scrambled egg tonight... maybe..
A tale of Three Honis...
Wish me well
Wish you well too..
Please be sure and check out the recipe below by the way... many people have asked for it...
Enjoy...