4 SHOTS (and I ain't talking whiskey) 1 CHIPMUNK CHEEK AND AN INSTANT REPLAY NEXT WEDNESDAY

wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I had a great post set up.. and I .. decided to preview and apparently delete it too.. darn it!!! I shared my lovely experience at the Endodontist today.. and how emotionally shocking it was... Actually.. I talked about having a panda bear sitting on the right side of my head... ( that was after the buffalo left) .. I had 4 shots of novacane.. ( one early in the a.m. when I went to the dentist and he concluded I needed to see an endodontist) 3 at the endodontist 2 of those lovely shots were where the first one had been given and one in my palate near the tooth that was going to excavated so to speak. yeah that was pretty cringe worthy.... The worst part was the drilling sound and the feeling of those little saw like things going in and out the nerve roots... I couldnt actually feel it.. but I felt the movement.. no real pain... it was not a horrible thing.. until after I left and felt as if someone was tap dancing on my cheek.. slowly the novacane wore off.. and boy did that shock the old system.. it was some SERIOUS JAW PAIN.. about that time sitting in my office.. I realized I could not eat my lunch.. WHAT???? you say.. not eat????... WHY there is the new quick fix diet.. HAVE A ROOT CANAL and REDUCE ... seriously I could not open my mouth... I spoke with my boss.. she was out of the office.. and she suggested I head home.. which I graciously did.. the pain grew with intensity .. as I passed the wellness center where I go to my weekly class and to swim .... I momentarily thought about stopping there for a swim.. and then.. WHAM>. a new threshold of pain was discovered..and swimming went down the drain reallllll fast.... by then my lower lip on the right side.. was nearly at my chin... my right nostril was droopy and so was my lower right eye lid... as the buffalo roamed across my cheek. Thank god I got home and my Sweet Steve had made a cheese omelet for me.. 2 eggs and low fat cheese.. It took me over 30 minutes to eat that so I could take 4 advil.. I have been sitting here with an ice bag resting on my right shoulder as I type... The pain has slacked up.. and I can open my mouth... Steve is going to make a veggie pizza tonite .. to make up for all my missed veggies this afternoon.. I am allowing myself a little extra tonite as I was under 1200 calories yesterday... Not that I am rewarding myself with food.. I just do not want to have a sick tummy should I warrant pain meds or more advil.. which I plan on taking 3 of .. 3 hours from now. ... Hopefully tomorrow I will feel more like me.. and go swim in the evening .. thats my plan.. Right now my Jaw is pretty tender... and I get kinda queasey when I think that i have to do this all over again next Wednesday at 830 am.. the good thing is is that It will not be 4 shots just 3 this time.. since I am just going to the enododontist then... then in 3 weeks I have to go be fitted for a crown... (I think I will tell them to leave the jewels and diamonds off so the cost won't be too bad... lol...) actually they put some kind of filling in the tooth.. then they crown it.. queen of the root canal.. lol.. I dunno exactly how it works.. I just know I have to go back after next week at the endodontist to the regular dentist.. in 3 weeks.. then his part starts. WHEW...
Otherwise.. for the real object of this blog... MY eating has been great today since it has been so limited... so thats good... the bananas work well.. things that are crunchy.. not soo good.. but if its soft I can do it... I am going to cut my carrots up tommorow to see if I can chew them in smaller bites.. I might have to just throw in the towel for this week... and can the raw veggies.. and just have some cooked ones...I dunno will have to see what the old mouth wants to do..
Speaking of food I need to go do my food log... so for now.. I am off..
Until next time..
Wish me well.. wish you well too!!!

Teeth and Pain and Needles OH MY!!!!

I was sitting at work today.. Having lunch and chatting with my boss when I bit into a carrot and really noticed how bad the right upper side of my mouth hurt. This had been going on for a while and I was just assuming it would go away.. I finally said to myself and my boss.. I better call the dentist.. he always says.. "better to fix a small problem than a big one" So low and behold he saw me at 4 this afternoon.. and instead of a pat on the back.. and a you will be fine.. I have to go back tomorrow at 8.. and have a old old filling replaced because some how.. a little creature called decay has ventured forth under the old filling and if I do not address it now.. then I could be in for some whoopin big problems down the road... So tomorrow the needle comes out and into my mouth... and the tooth gets fixed.. if the problem is worse .. then I have to have a root canal.. I hope that does not happen.. I have never had a root canal and have always had great teeth.. okay .. great after my folks spent thousands of dollars to have them fixed when I was a kid... ( hmm my mouth liked to grow teeth regardless if they were needed or not) The good thing is .. is that he has replaced most of the other old fillings with material that matches your teeth.. so that is good.. I like this dentist because he is just an old fashioned dentist with out the bells and whistles.. plus he is a phenominal talker.. so when he sticks you with the needle and you are waiting for your mouth to go numb.. he sits there and talks and talks and talks and talks.. so for the most part you forget that half of your face has become lopsided... OOOOHHH and one lesson I learned last time ( which happened to be last month) is NEVER..apply lipstick when you have novacane.. the lips will not cooperate ... Actually this is really a good thing (.the getting the tooth fixed part .. not the lopsided lipstick part..).. when I was there last month... I had him file a tooth down a little on the right side.. right after he did that is when the pain started.. and the sensitivity to hot and cold.. had he not filed that tooth down.. this problem would have gone undetected until I would have had some very serious problems.. So I guess it has all worked out for the best .. for my mouth that is... Okay enough dental rambling...
It was a good eating day for me.. I took in a little more than 1,100 calories.. because I did not get to eat my big apple for an afternoon snack.. ( dentist) ... This website calorie-counter.com is really cool ... http://www.calorie-count.com/ I like it a lot... Well I am going to head to bed.. My goal for tommorow is to add more food choices and activity choices to my tag lists on calorie-count.com.. and build my menu for tomorrow as well. I might even get a little swimming in in the evening.. all depends on how I feel.. Last time my mouth was pretty sore for 2 days .. so we shall see what happens...
Until next time...
Wish me well... Wish you well...

SUCCESS

BEGINNING WEIGHT : 214 lbs ( First weigh in was with with shoes, sweat shirt on ) We estimated real weight from last week which came to 211.5 January 22, 2007
FIRST WEIGH IN:208.4 lbs(Jan 29 2007)
PROGRESS :LOST 3.1 lbs
76.4 lbs to go!
GOAL WEIGHT : 132 lbs ( January of 2008)
PROGRAM: MAYO CLINIC HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR EVERYBODY
FOOD PYRAMID 1,200 CALORIES A DAY
CONSTANT GOAL : TO STAY AS CLOSE TO 1,200 A DAY AS I POSSIBLY CAN

YAY ME good start considering what I had going against me this week... found a good weight and activity log I think.. it will work for now...
Off to watch a little tv with my sweetie and relax some
A great night to all
Your good wishes helped
Wish me well (again) Wish you well (always)
Until Next time...

COUNTDOWN TO WEIGH IN # 1

In about 1 hour I will be getting on the scale for my first official weigh in...I did things different this time. In the past whenever I had to weigh in... I would starve myself the entire weigh day and then after I had weighed .. well.. I would be ravenous. This time.. I decided to eat my normal plan and just see what happens.. If you have lived 44 years of life one way, a life certainly will not change in just one week. So my feeling was if I kept things on the same level as each day last week and the weekend were, that that was the better idea.
I want to be a winner at this losing game. I am so tired of being tired.. I am so tired of hiding in this body. I don't know if everyone feels that way.. like they are hiding from the world behind their weight.. but I do most of the time. Do you realize that most obese or overweight people are beautiful.. and then when they shed that excess bulk.. its such a metamorphisis.. I have seen it .. over and over again. Now I don't put myself in the beautiful category.. but less weight not only means a chance to have better health and a longer life but it means a chance to look better.. look younger.. and most importantly feel better. How many times did you hear.????. if you only lost some weight you would be great.. or if you just lost a little weight.. or YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE.. apparently .. I never saw it that way.. Sometimes I think its about comfort... being over weight.. after all we know what being fat feels like.. but being thin or smaller for any length of time.. do we truely know what that thinner body feels like... ??? Do we truely understand how other's percieve us.. I can assure you that in our larger selves.. sometimes those people see fat pigs.. or a fat and happy person... sometimes if they know us well.. they just see us.. not the fat.... lets shed the pounds and suddenly we are normal... suddenly we are one of them.. I think thats how they view it. Yeah.. the "they" who is the infamous "they".. its the general public.. I can give you a prime example of the above.. I went to boarding school in high school. Prior to going to boarding school I attended the local high school for one year.. My dad had to bring me early to school because a group of boys would stand outside and BARK at me and some other unattractive girls when we walked in.. and because of the set up of the school.. it was A HUGE open area with metal lockers and the barking would radiate through out the BIG hall.. Humiliating to say the least. Yesterday I was at a party and a friend brought up one of those boys names.. now granted he is well into his 40s now and probably has no memory of what he and his friends did.. but in my mind.. he is still 17 .. and stuck there... why do I say that? because.. other young men that tormented me.. through out that awful time.. 3 approached me at various times through out my young adulthood and actually apologized. One happened in college.. I was in decent shape having come off a weight loss program.. he came and sat next to me in physcology class.. I will never forget it.. I knew right away.. I knew who he was.. and this time I was not scared of him.. I said .. what do you want with me.. he said nothing .. just it was nice to sit by a familiar face.. I was not really happy with him sitting next to me.. to me he was a 16 year old boy still.. and he humilated me in front of an entire classroom .. as a high school fraternity prank he asked me on a date.. ( I dont remember what I said but I remember all the other kids laughing at me... it was horrible..) .. I would look over at him from time to time.. finally he asked me what was going on.. and I reminded him of what he had done to me not 5 years prior.. he said he did not remember...He looked at me and said. Honi people grow up and change.. and then.. he apologized. Then.. those years were wiped away... He was 20 something and I was 20 something and ironically we became study partners during that quarter. I never saw or heard from again.. but like him 2 others apologized to me as well.. that healed a great deal of past pain.. For the others out there.. I don't really think about it.. The guy refered to yesterday at the party? In my mind.. yeah he is still that 17 year old obnoxious jerk.. he might be a fine man now.. but I dont' know that side of him. You can say to me Honi GROW UP.. and I will say to you its not about growing up.. it'a about always remembering that what you say and what you do has an effect on someone in your life.. Good or bad it stays with them.. and that is how they remember you until something happens to change that opinion.
So now.. out of the past and into the future... Weigh in number 1 in less than 1 hour... wish me luck.. wish you luck too
Until Next time!

FRIIIIIIIIIIIIDAY!! Foodie

YAY it is Friday!... looking forward to a nice cold weekend in the south... the Pyramid Plan seems to work well for me 1200 calories is do able and a bit hard. I was so amazed when I finally learned what my intake was over 2000 calories a day...... it is strange in a way because logically .. we know what we are doing to ourselves.... we know when we over eat.. I know what I over eat.. I know what has gone in my mouth.. perhaps I do not know why at the time.. but I know I have chosen to eat it for whatever reason, what did I eat.. ohhhhhhhhhhh gosh... junk food.. or stopping at Panera was a favorite trip of mine.. by myself of course.. a choc chip hazel nut bagel and hazel nut cream cheese, and a cheese danish were my favorite fare. Lunch time.. if it was bad I liked it.. if it gave me reflux .. I liked it even more.. ( i really dont like reflux but the time before the reflux when I was eating the food.. that was good.) do I remember what I ate???.. sometimes.. did I eat fast??/ most of the time.. did I enjoy it? hmm sometimes.. The last big meal I had.. was at a great Italian restaurant with my S man and my mom.. I had eggplant parmesean , 2 delightful rolls and shared a tiramisu.. Now that meal I so enjoyed.. I ate slowly.. I closed my eyes when I ate the eggplant.. so I could really concentrate on what I was eating... the tirmasu was delightful too.. and the rolls were hot and delicous... it was a great LAST MEAL... well I do that again.. You betcha.. for a special occasion like my birthday in November.. I am hoping by November to have off atleast half if not more of my weight.. Will i indulge like that??? nope... I will place half of the eggplant in a to go box for lunch the next day... and I will try and only have one of the rolls and only a couple bites of that dessert... LOL>. You see at heart I am a foodie... and I am not ashamed to say that. I love to cook and bake.. ( NO BAKING UNTIL NEXT HOLIDAY SEASON THOUGH) ( I LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT) .. I love a delicous meal.. I love to plan a meal.. I love to discuss a new food.. and I love knowing that I can live a life with out junk food.. thats the bottom line.. I mean already in less than a week I feel so much better.. I dare say energetic.. I can actually tell when my blood sugar is dropping too and that if I have a little fruit .. everything is fine... that feels really good... and... no reflux for 4 days.. thats excellent.... so even in this minute amount of time.. I can feel things changing.. My goals for the upcoming week are to keep on course, and develop a good menu for the week as well as find an online meal tracker and fitness journal I actually like .. have not found one yet... any input would be awesome..
Until next time...
Wish me well.. Wish you well.

NUTRE NUTRA NUTRI system WHATEVA...

I can say this.. I was there.. back in the early days when they had clinics all over the country.. I did Nutra System.. and yes.. I lost 50 pounds.. and yes.. this was good... 50 pounds ago it was good.. now its just dust... I did the program lost 50 pounds in less than 6 months.. also lost my gall bladder too... the food.. how did it taste? FUGETABOUTIT... I mean its okay.. if you like reconstituted hamburgers that have fake grill marks on them... and a bun thats on the crunchy side... granted this was back in the 80s so perhaps their MREs (meal ready to eat.. .yeah like the army) have improved.. I doubt it.. The program is still pricey and yes.. BOTTOM LINE.. you will lose weight.. YOU are eating only their food... in their portion sizes.. and I seriously doubt anyone would binge on chicken you have to reconstitute to .. digest it. The one thing I loved was the candy they had.. they had these sweet tart things you could have as dessert.. those were good.. The wafer cookies were good.. the cereal was decent too... it was the protein that was kinda gagalicious... The pizza came unassembled and you put it together and nuked it.. so it was more soggy than crispy... and very very CHEWY... had I known that eventually I would end up in the hospital having my gall bladder removed.. not sure if I would have still done the program... I dont know if you recall the law suit against them regarding MANY others who had gall bladder surgery shortly after being on their program and losing the bulk of their weight. That was back in the mid to late 80s and early 90s ... I did not participate in the case. MY feelings on that program run deep.. As with any program.. it works if you work it.. but the truth is... you have to have a follow up plan.. a way to succeed when the program is over.. Its up to us.. and hopefully each of us choses a safe route...
Until next time....
Wish me well, Wish you well..

Ranting ranting ranting..... but always with a smile on my face

First rant: I LOVE AMERICAN IDOL I love to watch it and am consistantly amazed with the auditions as to just how far people will go. Next week its good old Birmingham.. gosh I hope we don't show are ass on TV... I hope there are some decent voices .. lord knows from the previews it looked down right embarassing.. whats with the chick dressed up like big bird... and sadly I do mean big.. why on earth would she think that that is cool????.. is it out of desperation to be on TV????.. to have those so called 15 minutes of fame???.. PULEEEZE.. gosh I hope they do not flaunt her too much next week... at the same time though .. I guess she really did not care.. how she looked ... NOT THAT LOOKS are everything.. but come on now.. even if you are a large person you can dress in a flattering way no matter what your size.. you can still look as good as possible .. .. I feel that Birmingham sort of has something to live up to when it comes to IDOL after all we have given America 3 of them. It sure will be interesting to see those auditions... after Seattle, Memphis and NY.. something has got to give...

Second RANT: What gives with all these Nutri System commericals.. every 2 seconds you can find one somewhere on your tv.. the most recent one with the guy that says.. "MY wife says she is not has disgusted with me" or something like that.. what a doofus and what kind of woman says to her husband.. Your weight disgusts me.. what a bitch.. sorry.. yes I know lots of folks are like that.. but to say that in an ad.. he was bragging .. seems to me she is still disgusted with him the way he said it just not as bad as when he was heavier.. thats one model marriage.. u betcha...

Third rant: Well this is not really a rant... I am doing okay today.. have been feeling a little headachy and tired.. but I am sure my body is still trying to adjust to all of these life changes.. one step at a time... I am finding that each day I am a little less hungry. So that is a good thing...

I had a strange dream last nite.. I dreamt I had a bag of candy ( okay i promise this is weird) and in the bag there was chocolate but I could not see it.. I just knew it was there somehow.. ( its a dream .. I guess thats how .. I dunno) all I could see were Wint-O-Green Lifesavers.. ( I like those) I held the bag in my hand... and I threw the bag in the garbage.. I guess my dream was telling me.. you really don't need chocolate or candy of any nature .. maybe.. .. well so much for dream analyzing....

Hope all is right in your world...
Until next time
Wish me well... Wish you well!

A NEW WEIGH ( hmm thats not that original is it?? )

Well I want to make my titles orginial and eye catching.. oh yeah.. well... found out some interesting things about myself last night... prior to monday the 22nd of January .. I was comsuming over 2000 calories a day.. now to some of you that may not seem all that bad.. but remember I am 4 foot 11 inches tall... not 6 foot 4 inches tall and a football player or something...
Monday I started the pyramid program.. or Healthy Weight For Everybody. My pyramid is 1200 calories.. so basically what I am saying here is that since... wellllllll SUNDAY I have cut what I eat by half if not more... Am I hungry..... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.. but I get unlimited fruits and vegetables.... am I anxious YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs could be the hormonal thing. or horriblemonal thing as I call it :-) ..... ( I am on the pill for 3 months at a time and I break a week to have a cycle at the third month) NO real chocolate during this time.. ya know what I mean??? no sweets.. see that is another thing I realized... during that cycle time... for that one week I realllllllly indulged... I mean REALLLLLY INDULGED!!! so this week I have 2 big challenges.. stay on course.. and control cravings to raid the 7-11 or Circle K store for really bad for me .. heart destroying foods. Guess what ??? I am doing it... Does that feel good you ask? sort of... its only been 3 days counting today.... will it feel good on Friday ??? yes... because then it will be 5 days.. and just maybe I will be able to finally believe that I can start accomplishing this .. I can finally shed this largeness.. I can finally start thinking that one day I will be able to feel a rib or two or 3...... One other thing.. last night I had to stop at the grocery after I swam... and let me tell you I was rip roaring hungry... I picked up just what we needed.... GUESS WHAT??? I did not buy a little snacky poo too tide me over like I often do... NOW THAT WAS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME.... well I guess in reality its not huge... its what regular people do.. but what exactly is a regular person....??? is it just someone that has great self control and will power??? are they born with that???? oh well... I guess I am not regular.. which is good I suppose... its good to be unique .. but better to be unique in other areas not over eating.... :-)

I also had some wake up calls ... One being that my doctor said that if I did not shed a significant amount of weight by the first of May ... when he sees me again that he would have to put me on Blood pressure meds... NO WAY I dont want pills..... Two being I went for a bone scan because of the pain I had been having in my foot.. and they did a full body scan much to my shock and dismay... I saw it.. and I saw my bones.. and I saw my mass in comparision to my bones... EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A BODY BONE SCAN... BOY that is a Sharp REALITY...
Three... the realization of how many calories I was actually consuming before I started on Monday... WOW is all I can say.. and to be totally honest I did not even get an exact number.. I got scared when I realized it was over 2,000 calories a day.

I have no idea who is going to read this blog.... one two or three people maybe more.. maybe just me... I do know that I had a couple of comments on my last post and I LOVED IT... the encouragement is priceless.. and lets face it ... we all need encouragement. If anyone does read this.. if you have any links too food logs or other tools online that might be helpful.. please let me know... thank you thank you so very much for that...... also if you want to link me to your blog that is fine as well.....

I do so want to believe that we.. that I can find my way out of this... there are no guarentees I know... and there are no guarentees that this will give me continued good healthy either.. however my chances greatly increase .... I know that.... I have to do this.. You have to this.... it is all about our own journeys to that place where our bodies are better.. healthier and stronger... Your input and any input (please be nice) is very welcome....
Until next time..
Wish me well... Wish you well too..

Hi Welcome to my new Blog site.. I will slowly be building up the features... for now I just wanted to say hi.. and I am looking forward to babbling about whatever needs to be babbled about. and in that process changing the more difficult sides of me.. Precisely speaking.. my weight... we have been companions since I have existed. Somewhere along the way in childhood my weight became me.. and grew and grew .. and sometimes it would disapate but more often than not the greater part of my 44 years has been spent being extra large in a small package.
The cold cruel Stats I am 4 ft 11 inches tall.. I am 44 years old and I weigh more nearly more than 2 of what should be me.. Fully dressed with a fleece sweat shirt and shoes on.. I weigh 214.. My goal is 132 .. lucky for me I am not petite other wise I would have to shoot for under 110. 132 would put me in a healthy weight range for my bone structure and size... hoping to pull myself there bit by bit row by row.. I am going to make my garden grow... ( yeah I plagerized... it is a song.. I know.. ) talk soon.. wish you well... wish me well.